Things are not as they seem to be
by p0tt3rh3ad
Summary: THis will be the most epic story I have ever written. Its a Sirius/Hermione fic. It's a timetravel fic. Voldemort is dead. Draco's mum died protecting harry in the battle. Lucius is in hiding, or is he? are the death eater's really retired? who is the new leader? I PROMISE IT IS THE BEST STORY I HAVE EVER WRITTEN-Warning it will be a long one.- I will update 2 or more I promise!
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

**_Read and follow this story and Review if you have the time, this will be the best story I have ever written... enjoy the first chapter ;)_**

_Nocturn Alley November 1998._

"Trust me on this. It will work."The voice said without the slightest hint of sanity or goodness that it used to have. He sounded fierce and evil now. No remorse. No kindness, but it never contained that quality.

"Why should we trust you?" The hooded figure asked him.

"Wo else can you trust? Who else hates that Potter more than I do? Tell me that."

"The dark lord would have wanted us to kill him."

"The dark lord had his chances to kill him, each time he failed to see the success behind Potter's girl is the key. How else would he have beaten the dark lord so many times? The girl and the infuriating weasel. without them he would failed miserably each time."

"The dark lord..."

"IS DEAD. Voldemort is dead! He will not return he was outsmarted by children."

"But Malfoy. You are..."

"Do not dare speak of that. It is a minor detail, but that is how we shall gain their trust! That is how we sneak in, yes that is how we get rid of the girl."

* * *

_Hogwarts 1998_

"Harry I don't trust him. Something is off about him." Hermione begged Harry as they approached the great hall.

"I got his mother killed, his father was driven into hiding he has no family because of me. Dumbledore trusts him why not us?"

"Harry... He is Malfoy, Draco Malfoy. He does not change. He is a death eater." Ron stated simply hoping his friend would come to his senses.

"Dumbledor trusts him! I didn't believe him about snape and now he is dead! I will not make the same mistake. I will not be blinded by hatred again!"

Hermione and Ron nodded. All three of them walked into the great hall. Harry next to Ginny and Ron next to Cho Chang. Leaving Hermione a seat in between Harry and Ron. She sat down uncomfortably and began to eat in silence. Ron had broken up with her for Cho Chang, and why shouldn't he have? Cho liked him and she was beautiful. Hermione was everything but that. She knew it wouldn't last long with him, only because good things don't stay long for her. Everything must come to an end. Her being happy was only temporary. She just hoped that soon her misery would too. Truthfully she was miserable, but never would she admit that to anyone, it would only make their lives complicated and they deserved to be happy, if she couldn't the happy they should be at least.

Draco walked in sitting across from Hermione and next to seamous and Dean. He was banned from sitting at the slytherin table, his father's acts of cowardly and his mother dying to save Harry Potter caused them to revolt and shun him. Soon, they will all pay for that, but for now he shall have to practice his acting skills.

Hermione glared at him from across the table and draco knew he had to get rid of her soon, she was going to ruin everything. She was too smart not to know. He knew she was already attempting to convince the Potter and weasel he was up to no good, but not to worry she will not be a problem after tonight.

_**How's that for the start of an epic story? Now this story is going to be a really good one. Probably very long I have a huge idea that I am very excited about this will be the best Fanfic I have ever written. It will have action and evilness and love and sadness and happiness. I am sure this will be very amazing please follow it PLEASE! I promise to update at least twice a week I have school now so im sorry, but I will try to update more than twice if it's possible, but trust me you will love this story! REVIEW! By the way who do you think the villian is hmmm?**_


	2. 2 Moony's gotta crush!

_**Disclaimer: Yeah I own a million dollar novel and am rich and Have created the drems of children *wakes up* oh no I don't own it ,it was all a dream *sobs***_

Draco nodded at the girl down at the end of the table. She stood up and walked to Cho Chang, "Cho! Haven't seen you in a while how have you been?"

"Oh fine really, nothing new." She replied sweetly as she stood up."Ron I will talk to you later. I'm going to go catch up with Lav. Haven't spoken with her in a while, with her being in the hospital after her attack from grey back,"

"Hermione come with us Parvati is coming as well we can all catch up like we used to." Lavender said with the same sickly sweet tone.

Hermione's eyes narrowed as she replied,"We have never hung ou like that before, actually you sort of harassed me two years ago, I was under the impression you were still plotting ways to kill me."

Both girls laughed before her then pulled her up ignoring the disgusted expression Hermione was giving them. Hermione spoke up saying," Can Ginny come?" Ginny glanced up by the mention of her name before they could refuse Ginny was

already standing up and walking to them,"Of course I can come Hermione... Wow it's been ages hasn't it girls?"

The four girls walked out of the great hall three with obviously fake smiles plastered and one very confused looking Hermione.

Harry looked at Ron as he asked,"What do you think's up with that?"

Ron shrugged and said,"I will never understand women." Then put his focus back to his food and Harry did the same and both boys missed the evil smirk that took over Draco's pale features.

* * *

"Now why are we _really _here?" Ginny asked with skeptical eyes.

They were in Hermione's head girl room alone. Cho locked the door putting a silencing charm on the door as she did so.

Ginny motioned to grab her wand when suddenly both girls wands floated into the hands of Lavender.

"Bloody Hell." Ginny cursed. Hermione's eyes were darting around the room becoming more desperate to come up with an escape plan. The floo was the only way out now.

Cho directed her wand at Ginny and Lavender directed hers at Hermione,"Sit on the couch. Now."Lavender commanderd them.

The girls obeyed and sat on the couch that was located next to the fire. Hermione knocked a picture off of her mantle causing the attention of everyone to be on the broken glass on the floor. Hermione took the moment to grab the small black bad containing the powder and stuffed it in her pocket before sitting.

Once Lavender and Cho had the girls on the couch Lavender turned around to grab something out from Hermione's closet.

"You really are a stupid girl, you should have never came now we have to choice but to send you away as well." Cho spat out towards Ginny.

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked

"I mean you shall suffer the same fate as Hermione shall."

"And what fate is that exactly?"Hermione asked

"Well I could tell you seeing as soon you shall both be gone. We erase you existence and all memory of you."

"That is impossible you cannot erase one's existence they have a soul." Hermione replied

"Yes, but surely you know that answer"

"You send them back in time. Make them reborn. It would be like obliviating all the minds of people who knew the person being reborn, but their actions they made would still stay in tact."

"Correct."

"Why not just kill me?"

"Then we would be hunted down and put in jail, but if you were forgotten then we get away unharmed."

"Why me though?"

"You killed the dark lord. without you he would have survived without you brains supporting Harry he would have never survived his first year!"

"You're a deatheater." Ginny gasped.

"Oh no, of course not you stupid girl. I am just here because I was promised my reward."

"Which would be?" Hermione asked hoping it was something she could negotiate the girl with.

"Harry to love me again. You stole him from me!" SHe pointed towards Ginny. "You tore him from me! He is my soul mate." the girl had no more fear in her eyes the sorrow and despair that used to be held within them ,now there was only hatred and despise.

Lavender returned with a potion in two vials. Cho looked to Lavender and smiled evilly. Hermione took this chance to throw the powder into fire. she shouted," THE BURROW" as she pushed Ginny into the green flames.

Shortly after Ginny disappeared the fire was put out by one of the girls. Hermione turned around to face their sneering faces.

"Thought you were smart Hermione." Lavender stated.

"Yes, but I'm also a Gryffindor" Hermione said simply standing firmly in her spot ready to take whatever they would throw at her. She would take it as a Gryffindor would.

Hermione was hit with a stunning spell by Lavender. The potion was forced down her throat and burned the insides of her throat. She heard Lavender begin the chant, "Make this body meet its demise, but shall its soul be met a new as more problems follow through. The life of Her shall be seized as will all memory. Travel back be lost in time. Never return as you leave this life behind." Then she was enveloped in a blackness and a cold breeze overwhelmed her.

* * *

"Hermione wake-up please wake up." A familiar voice pleaded her.

She blinked as she was awaken to a pair of green eyes swelled with tears. "Lilly!"

"Thank god your okay! What happened to you?"

"I-I don't know Lils." Lilly hugged her tightly and said," Come one Mum's been shouting for us to come in. Sis has told her about Sev."

Memories began to flood her as she remembered everything. Remembered her parents death. Remembered going to Hogwarts three years ago. Meeting Lilly and how she graciously invited her to live with her. Remembered Severus. The marauder's infuriating her and Lilly. James harassing Lilly to go out with him. JAmes and his friends tormenting poor Severus. It was all flowing through her mind.

"Well come on before we miss the train!"

"Train?"

"The Hogwarts express, Come on Herms! We still gotta get to the station." Lilly said grabbing Hermione's hand and pulling her into the house. She went to their shared bedroom where she changed into a plain white sundress that was rather tight, but flowed elegantly at her knees.

"Wow Herms you know you changed a lot this summer, maybe your change will get James off my back and onto yours." She stated hopefully.

"In your dreams Lils I don't think the worlds strongest love potion could make him have eyes for another girl."

"It's only our 4th year he has three more years to take the hint."

"Lils I don't think calling him an arrogant self-centered jerk in front of the entire great hall than dumping pumpkin juice on his head qualifies as a hint."

"Then what else would you call it?"

"Assault." She said before laughing then added,"Now when will you admit that you completely smitten with him?"

"I am not!"

"Oh Lils you sure are. He is all you talk about."

"Yes, but I refer to him as the big-headed git."

"Well yes, but he seems to be on your mind so much I think your trying t convince yourself how much a git he is instead of me."

"I'm about as smitten with James as you are with Lucius Malfoy."

"Whatever you say Lils." Hermione sighed as she put her trunk in the car and sat next to Lilly in the back seat. Petunia decided to stay home.

* * *

"James!"

"Sirius!"

"Remus!"

"Peter!" They all called out as they met in the same cart they had the following years.

They sat down and Sirius grinned watching a group of girls walk past the door.

"Has any of you found Evans yet?"

"No." Peter replied

"What about Grace?"

"Well, obviously if they haven't seen Lilly then they hadn't seen Hermione, The two are inseparable." Remus said with a slight chuckle

"Speak of the devil here she is!" Sirius shouted as Hermione walked past the door.

"Have any of you seen Lilly anywhere?" She asked stepping into the cart.

"Why ask us?" James asked disappointed Lilly wasnt with her."

"Well I assumed you knew where she was at all times, Mr. I stalk Lilly Evans." Hermione said sarcastically.

The comment made James' face a fair shad of scarlet and he mumbled,"I don't stalk her."

"Sure ya don't James..." She said laughing.

Sirius looked up at her again and smirked. What happened to Hermione Grace over the summer? Since when was she anything except an annoying pain in the arse? Now she was being funny. She looked different as well. Her face slimmer. Her dark black hair seemed to fall more elegantly. Her soft blue eyes held some other emotion it never had, well at least around him.

"Hey! Padfoot! Are you done checking out Grace yet?" James asked trying to get the attention of his embarrassment away from him.

The comment only made Sirius grin and he winked at Hermione making her cheeks blush slightly giving her feint pink tinge that her even more beautiful.

_'No. This is Hermione grace. Sirius think. She is annoying. She is a buzz kill. She hates Quidditch. She despises you. She is ,incredibly hot. NO. Bad thoughts. Bad Sirius.' _Sirius started to argue with himself.

" I should be going to find Lils. Good-bye James, Peter." She waved to them."Oh and Remus Lilly wanted me to give you this book back, she wanted to thank you for lending it to her and for me to tell you it truly was a grand novel."

"Why didn't she herself?"

"She didn't want to run into lover-boy here, but I was supposed to give it to you in Hogwarts, but there's no Difference really."

"I suppose not, well tell her it was no problem and I'm glad she enjoyed it. Oh and Hermione..."

"Yes?"

"That's quite a nice dress you're wearing." Remus murmured his face turning slightly pink.

"Why thank you Remus. I really should be finding Lilly though. I'll see you at Hogwarts?"

"As always." He said smiling. She gave him a small hug and then went to leave. She looked at Sirius and without wishing him good-bye she left.

"That as rather rude of her." Sirius snorted slightly offended she ignored him.

"So is calling her the devil." Remus replied immediately.

"Looks like Moony's got himself a crush." James said giving Remus kissy lips

"I think Moony's always had a crush on Miss. Grace." Sirius said repeating James Gesture.

"I think Padfoot and Prongs should shut it."

"Ooh. Moony's getting angry Prongs! I think we embarrassed him!"

"I think your right padfoot. Moony gets red in the face by just Mentioning the name Miss Grace."

"What makes you think I like Hermione?"

"That's quite a nice Dress you're wearing." James said in a mocking tone.

"So I complimented her Padfoot was basically undressing her with his bloody eyes!"

"Yes but Padfoot would stare at any female with a pulse. You follow her around like a lost puppy and does whatever she ever asks you Moony face it your hooked on Grace." James said to his friend.

"At least I have a chance with her!" Remus mumbled.

"You think You can get Grace to go out with you?"James asked

"Yes. I think I could before you can get Evans to go out with you."

"Fine then let's make a little bet then shall we?"

"What kind of bet?"

"If you get Grace to go with you to the Halloween dance as your date and I can't convince Lilly to then I have to do whatever embarrassing thing you wish, but If you can't I get to make you do what ever I want as in a dare."

"Deal." Remus said slightly afraid that he only had 2 months to get Hermione to go with him.

* * *

"Where have you been?" Lilly asked Hermione when she stepped into the Compartment.

"Looking for you."

"You weren't looking very hard then were you?"She said chuckling.

"I was held up by your lover-boy and his pack."

"Ah... the marauders haven't seen 'em all day that must be why my day's so grand."

"Lucky you." She replied pulling on her Hogwarts robes as did Lilly.

They sat in silence for a moment until the door opened and they were both greeted with a hug from their friend.

"Sev. haven't seen you all day? Where have you been?"

"Um. with Lucius. I heard Herms has a secret admirer."

"I think you got me confused with Lils sev."

"No, not the arragant oaf then werewolf."

"For the last time Sev. He is not a werewolf. He just happens to be very nice in fact probably th nicest of the marauders." Lily stated showing her obvious soft spot for the quiet young boy.

"Well he likes our little hermy."

"That's more absurd than your werewolf theory Sev."

"Fine don't believe me, but do not date him Herms. He is bad news, he is a marauder you know."

"Yes Sev. I am aware of that, but trust me no guy would ever like me. I'm not the type of girl guys fall for."

"Oh please Hermione drop that lie right now you happen to be a very beautiful witch!" Lily said,"Please tell Hermy she's pretty."

"Your pretty Herms. You really are any man would be beyond lucky to have you."

"Thanks Sev." she murmured still unconvinced by her friends.

* * *

Hermione, Lily and Severus walked into the great hall, Severus went to the slytherin table next to lucius and Hermione and lily walked toward the Gryffindor, but didn't make it far before James was running up to them.

"This close to having a perfect day."Lilly said showing about an inch of space between her thumb and index fingur.

"No james. And when you ask tomorrow it will be no and the next day up until graduation it will be NO!" SHe said walking away from James who followed her and saying,"So in three years when we graduate your saying you'll go out with me?"

"NO!" Lilly shouted trying to escape James.

Hermione chuckled and Remus came up to her and laughed with her.

"You know eventually she will say yes." Hermione told him.

"I know once James stops being so...James-like."

"Yes and becomes more like me eh Moony?" Sirius said joining the conversation.

"No I believe we are trying to get Lily to like him not kill him." Hermione stated making Remus laugh.

"Oh and who do you suppose James acts more like to win over Evans?"

"I would say Remus. Yet again Lily doesn't go for the bookworm as much I think once James stops being to self-centered she will fall for him."

"Care to explain why Moony here is more appealing to you then I?"

"Many reasons ,but one for me personally I think he is just better looking then You Sirius, You spend so much time on your hair you forget girls like guys who look more rugged not pampered."

"Your Insane Grace."

"Maybe, but your just as bad."

"How so?"

"First of all you're a black."

Hermione left then to find Lily.

"She thinks your better looking then me."

Remus didn't reply being just as shocked as sirius who continued rambling on about how he did not look 'pampered' and murmured ways to kill Hermione.

_**Yes it is a Sirius/Hermione Fic. Trust me,but I need to do this Remus/Hermione bit trust the author do not lose faith in me! Next chappie: More death eater drama and a bit of 1998 life without Hermione. Also a certain Malfoy meets this Hermione Grace and gets a certain werewolf and animagus jelly... I've said too much...REVIEW. I will try to post some more Tomorrow.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer: You need help if you think I own Harry Potter_**

_The burrow_ _1998_

Ginny collapsed in the fire-place of the burrow. Her mother came rushing in calling for her brothers and father to come help. Being her mother she tried to help Ginny up, but Ginny was already running to the drawer containing parchment.

As she did so she yelled her voice shaking and slightly muffled by the streams of tears pooling down her face,"Hermione has been kidnapped write down everything about her. Gather her things! Hermione has been taken!"

she wrote the words,_'HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER .FRIEND. 19 years. Brightest witch. Lost in time. Don't forget. Save HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER. Cho, Lavender evil._'

She ran to Up the stairs ignoring the shouts of questioning from her parents and hoped her brother's were following her advice.

As soon as she entered her room she grabbed Hermione's muggle and wizard photos of Harry, Ron and her. She took all of HERMIONE'S possessions and put them in a box, but when she went to label it she got a splitting headache and collapsed on the floor beginning to cry out for help, but no one came only more shrieks of pain that echoed the other inhabitants of the house. This was it Hermione was fading.

* * *

_Hogwarts 1998_

After the shrieks of pain seized on the building Draco, lavender and cho exited the room of requirement. They went there and found earmuffs to keep their memory in tact of Hermione.

"Now where did you send her to?" Draco asked impatiently.

"We were supposed to send her somewhere specific?" lavender asked in a worried tone

"You incompetent child! If you don't specify a date at the end of the chant the soul is free to choose its own era!"

"what's the difference she is gone now."

"THE DIFFERENCE IS NOW SHE COULD CHANGE THE LIVES AS YOU KNOW IT YOU MAY SEIZE TO EXIST!" Draco screamed at the girls before him who cowered in fear.

"we didn't know..."

"Of course you didn't how could you have. This is bad."Draco started pacing and went to look at the memory photo of the golden trio that hung proudly in every hallway of Hogwarts.

He watched as the girl on the left began to fade away. At least that much has worked. Now to find out where the nuisance ended up.

* * *

_Gryffindor Common room 1998_

Ginny appeared in the fire with a plain box and she sat on the couch next to Harry and Ron.

"What's that Gin?" Ron asked with a confused tone to his voice.

"Are you alright Ron? You sound worried."

"No, not worried just, different I feel like I've just been hit by a bludger."

"Same here mate, whats in the box Gin?"Harry asked

"I don't know I woke up with it. I don't know why I was at the Burrow, I forget. Actually I can't even remember waking up this morning."

"neither can I." Harry told her with an unreadable expression upon his features.

Ginny looked at the box and picked up a picture of Ron and Harry. They looked worried and scared and were searching around for something. She handed it to Harry and picked up another photo, but this one did not move. It had Harry and Ron, but there was a girl in the middle she had her arms around them and they were all smiling. "Who's that?"

"Not sure. Ron?"

"No clue."

Ginny picked up another handful of photos and they were all of Harry ,Ron and this girl. Some from their second year. But the wizard photos only showed Harry and Ron looking for something like the first now they were becoming frantic in the photos. Then she found the note.

After reading it she handed it to the boys and left to her room. She found muggle photos of herself with this mysterious girl and in the wizard ones she was looking around in the same state as Ron and Harry were.

Who was this girl. Why did she feel like something was missing in her, like she was incomplete. Why did this girl make her want to cry? Why was she at the burrow. When did she write that note? How long was this girl, Hermione lost for? Why couldn't she remember anything? Maybe she was dreaming? Yes, she was dreaming that was why she couldn't remember. When she wakes up everything will be okay and make sense.

Ginny walked to her bed and closed her eyes thinking that when she opened them it would be a dream, because that was all her mind could register at that moment.

* * *

_Hogwarts 1974 _

"Lils! Wake you sorry Arse up we have classes!" Hermione shouted at her friend throwing a pillow in the direction of the ginger girl's bed.

"I'm awake I'm just not up!"

"Use that excuse on professor Bones,'Oh professor I'm sorry I was awake though I just was too lazy to get off my lazy arse!"

"Fine! I don't see why he had to go and pair me with James! It seems as though everyone is on his side waiting for me to say yes!"

"Maybe your just too stubborn to see your madly in love with him."

"Maybe Miss Grace should shut her mouth."

"Ooh someone's a bit cranky in the morning. I'm going to visit the library.

"Yes! Go! Leave me to be here alone so I may sleep!"

"Your lucky it's early! I will be back to reawaken you in an hour no more no less!"

Hermione left the girls dorm to find Sirius sprawled on the couch with a girl who he was now snogging senseless she crinkled her nose and made a sound of disgust that went by unnoticed by Sirius and said girl.

"I know. Only the 5th day back and he already has all these girls on a set schedule. It's revolting."

"Remus! Where are you headed?"

His eyes widened a bit in panic. Truthfully he was waiting around until he saw Hermione so he may talk with her, but he couldn't say that. His face paled slightly and he stuttered out his only excuse,"Uhh. I was heading. to. er. I mean I was going to the -er- the Library."

"Oh so was I well mind if I accompany you?"

"Not at all..."

The two were off in a friendly matter as Hermione subconsciously thought back to what Severus had told her about Remus taking a liking to her. It seemed all but impossible, yet something flickered inside her hoping it was true. Hoping that it was not another rumor, but that was quickly extinguished. No it wa not possible for her to be liked, she was not the type of girl guys would like.

_'Maybe, but Remus is not the type of guy to like the normal preppy girls.' her conscience argued with her._

Once at the library they sat in comfortable silence both engrossed in their literature, when it hit. A flash of white light blurred her vision and she collapsed on the floor.

The white light turned into visions of a boy who looked remarkably like James, but he had Lils eyes, A ginger boy with a family inside a huge house with many siblings. Two twins who were running a joke shop. An older boy in egypt with a beautiful women and a small child. An older werewolf ho looked somewhat like Remus with a pink-haired witch and a Small boy with blue hair. She saw a ginger girl who must have been related to the others she was worried and scared. Then she saw a boy with blonde hair who held a distinct resemblance to Lucius. He was worried. Frightened, but he was also determined his grey eyes looked like Sirius' but held a quality that Sirius never had. It held hatred and loathing. He was a boy ,but his eyes were ones of a much older man.

The visions ended and she woke up on the library floor with Remus' hazel eyes wide with fear,"Are you okay? What happened?"

"I had a vision... People many people were there I didn't know them ,but it felt like I did. They weren't visions though just flashes of faces one after another. I think I saw you, but you were older with a son with blue hair and your wife had pink hair, only you were a..."

"A what?"

"A werewolf I saw you change into one ten you were with your family again and the next image popped. It was all happening so fast."

"Oh what, what else did you see?"

"A boy who I thought was james, but he had green eyes like lily and he wore a scar on his forehead. I saw a boy with ginger hair and his brothers and sister, but there was one girl in particular who I thought I knew. I saw a boy who looked like Lucius, but he had Sirius' eyes, only they held darkness, hatred, evilness. Then the faces stopped. They just stopped."

She began to cry, but didn't know why. "Its okay, I'll- I'll go get McGonagall, yes she will know what to do!"

Remus ran away leaving a crying Hermione to herself in the library.

"Grace... No Evans today?"The blonde asked slightly intrigued by the Girl being alone which was a rare occurence.

"No, sh-she's sleeping." she said drying her eyes with the sleeve of her robes.

"What? did the werewolf break-up with you already?"

"No. Remus and I have not even gone out. He does not have any feelings for me and the same feeling is mutual for myself."

"I doubt that Miss. Grace. I send my condolences by the way about your parents this summer. Tragic."

"I highly doubt your sorry."

"Why say that? I'm not completely heartless you know..."

"Oh yes and venomous snakes aren't completely deadly..."

"Actually, Miss Grace. That statement is quite true. If you do not sho yourself as a threat to the snake it will either show you affection or ignore your existence all together, but challenge it and that's when the fangs come out... And you Miss Grace are no threat."

She smiled slightly at this and it caused Lucius to walk towards her,"I am sorry about your parents. I know the fact my parents are deatheaters and I am on my way there means I shouldn't show concern to a muggle-lover as yourself, but _you_ have never done any kind of unkindness to me."

"Why are you here Lucius."

"I'm asking myself the same question, I'm also wondering why it is I feel as though I can tell you anything without being judged. I wonder why you show such kindness to Severus. I wonder why it is you show kindness to everyone and smile in the darkest times like this. I wonder why you walk with your head down trying to avoid every living person. I wonder why you feel as though you're not good enough. I wonder how such an honest person can keep so many feelings hidden. I wonder why I'm telling you the thoughts that keep me awake at night."

"Me? I keep you wondering at night?"

"Your surprised?"

"Well, yes, I mean it in the nicest way that I thought you hated me."

"I'm supposed to, as is Severus, but we don't, we have consciences."

"Why should Severus hate me?"

"He didn't tell you? Interesting..."

"Tell me what?"

"The summer before his sixth year will be the official initiation. That is the rule for all young deatheaters. Mine is this summer."

"But he is only a half-blood. Why would he want Severus?"

"He will take any one he can get at Hogwarts. It's to spite Dumbledore show him he can't protect his students. If it continues on he will take over Hogwarts in a few years."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Why are you listening?"

"I'm not heartless either Lucius."

She thought for a moment she saw his plain pale lips twitch up in a smile, but his non-readable expression returned so quickly she could have imagined it all.

"I have no one else to tell."

"Your parents..."

"Are so proud their son shall be following them in their roles amongst the dark lord."

"Your friends..."

"We are slytherins we don't have 'friends' You follow your leader or you are the leader. It's as simple as that."

"I see, but it doesn't have to be that way."

"How so?"

"There is a choice. You all choose to live that way. No matter what there is always a choice Lucius."

"That's where your wrong Miss. Grace."

She stared blankly at him for him to explain his point when he did he said his voice sounding more comfortable now,"Somethings there is no choice. My initiation being one of them if I don't my family dies."

"But Lucius that is a choice."

"I hardly count that as being a choice."

"Maybe not the most appealing option, but it is a choice none-the-less."

"What about your parents deaths, you didn't choose for them to die."

"But someone did. The deatheater that sent the curse had a choice. You-know-who made the choice to send them after my parents. I said there is always a choice it might not be your choice to make, it might be much a choice, but its a choice."

"How did you become so wise?"

"The war I suppose."

He slid down next to Hermione leaning on the bookcase as he said,"Care to explain?"

"Well, with the war we are forced to grow up or stay young. People like you and I we grew-up we never had a childhood, never cared to do so, but People like James and Sirius, they chose to cling to the immaturity of jokes and pranks to try and preserve every happy moment they can before they leave Hogwarts and are forced to grow-up. I cannot tell you wich choice is better, but I can tell you they were choices that children shouldn't have to make, but in war it is necessary."

He laughed slightly causing Hermione to look up at him smiling,"What?"

"You... when your preaching to me and giving your opinion you had this spark about you almost like a glow, it made it impossible to disagree."

She looked down at her hands again trying to hide the blush,"So why laugh?"

"If I didn't laugh I might have done something incredibly stupid and naïve."

Hermione turned her head and noticed how close they had gotten,"Like what?"

His blue eyes glanced down at her lips then back up to her eyes immediately he did not trust himself to speak.

"You know Lucius, It's okay to be a little naïve." This was all the permission he needed when he descended his lips onto her own. The kiss was light and gentle and their lips barely touched when a book was slammed in front of them and they both heard a ear-splitting elderly women's screams of disapproval.

"This is a Library not a place for teenagers to frolic around Snogging and what not. A place of sanctity! I expected better of you Miss Grace. I figured as much from Mr. Malfoy, but you! You should be ashamed of yourselves."

"Our apologies Madame Pince." Lucius said smiling foolishly and Hermione smacked his arm as she said,"We'll be going now. Don't want to miss our classes."

"You do that and Don't let me catch you two in here again and just warning you I do patrol the restricted section!" The old women called after the two retreating students who were both trying unsuccessfully to hold down their laughter.

* * *

Remus ran out of the Library to find his head of house he was half-way to her office realizing he shouldn't have left her in that critical state. He would go back and take her with him. Half of him was so panicked about her having vision-type things and the other was paranoid she knew his secret. The secret that only the Marauders knew about the secret that took his childhood.

But all worry was seized as he walked into the Library silently as not to scare her. The sight he found was more shocking to him the her collapsing on the ground having visions.

He saw her kissing Lucius. Why did it have to be Lucius? How does that even happen? If he would have just stayed there with her this would not have happened.

Part of him wanted to rip Lucius to shreds, but the other knew he had no control of Hermione's actions. She was free to date whoever...dating Lucius...The thought just made his insides twist with envy.

He turned around and saw Madame Pince walking towards them with an aggravated stride as she walked. He smiled slightly at the thought of their embarrassment, but part of him yearned to be the one instead of Lucius.

He quickly exited and stopped to hear the old women criticize them and once he heard them approaching he ran off to the boys dormitories suddenly he had no desire to go to classes today. He couldn't bear the site of Hermione's sly smiles toward Lucius. He could see it now and just imagining their silent flirting made him feel sick to his stomach. No. It would be better to just sleep the day away.

_**Awe! Poor Remus! I actually felt bad about this... It made me very sad to do that to poor Remus' heart. YES ITS STILL A SIRIUS/HERMIONE FIC... It's their 4th year so wait have trust in me and Lucius is a year older that's why his initiation shall be over the summer :( yes very sad... A lot Happened this chapter! Ginny is smart she might find out the truth, but can she get Hermione back? Or will Hermione change everything as they know it? Will their world seize to exist? Is this Note Giving away the entire plot and twist? NO! YES! MAYBE! Keep reading and following and I got one review THANK YOU for the review! I remember you from my Fremione story! You are an amazing reviewer thank you! The person who guesses who beats up Lucius next chapter gets Free Virtual Cookies! **_


	4. Sirius Black is back!

_Hogwarts 1998_

"Who is she?" Ginny asked Ron and Harry who were sitting on the couch of Gryffindor Common room.

"For the last time Gin, I don't know!" Ron spat

"Why are you still with that no-good trollop by the way?"

"Cho? Since when has she been anything but nice to you?"Defending his girlfriend from the tiny ginger's evil wrath

"She hates me and if you'd pay attention you'd know she is only around you when your with Harry! She's in love with him still! And what about the note?"

"What note again?" T

"From the box Ron! Hermione Jean Granger!"

"Why do you care so much? We don't even know the bird!" Ron shouted still agravated by her jab at his girlfriend

"We do though! We all know her there are millions of pictures of her! And any picture with or Harry or any one else we know for that matter the people are looking around like maniacs! They are looking for her! Hermione Granger is still alive! She is lost in time! LOOK! I've looked it up! The books say it is a form of very old dark magic and is a banned spell. Well it's not only a spell it's a potion too and then you must say the spell after almost like a chant! We have to find her! Or at least tell _Somebody_!" Ginny glanced at Harry and then continued,"Are you both telling me when you see pictures of this girl you feel nothing? No loneliness? No longing? Nothing?"

"Gin, I believe you, but if we knew her..."Harry said carefully.

"THAT'S IT I'M ALERTING THE ORDER!"

"Fine let us know if they listen to a word you say!" Ron yelled at the retreating red head.

"That was a bit uncalled for mate." Harry told his best friend.

"She's bloody insane mate, just trying to save her the embarrassment."

* * *

_Room of Requirement 1998_

Draco ran a hand through his blonde hair and messaged his temples with the other. Of all the times all the eras it had to be the era of the marauders one wrong move and everything would fade away. If she killed voldemort then...If she killed his father or mother, he would not even have existed. This was bad. Very bad. He needs a plan, but what? What could he possibly do? Nothing yet. He had to alert the other death eaters. He has to meet them all tonight.

Now at least the witch gone he can complete his plan. Now once he gets the weasel out-of-the-way no one shall stop him with his revenge on Potter.

* * *

_Hogwarts 1974_

The month passed in somewhat of a blur for Hermione. She and Lucius were now a very well known couple. She wasn't bothered by any of the Marauder's antics lately ,but she spent most of her time studying in the library alone or with Lily. Remus never seemed to come by anymore, it was as if he was going out of his way to avoid her.

She wasn't hurt by it, but she was disappointed. The ball was coming up and she waited desperately for Lucius to ask her. Yes they were dating, but she still wanted to be asked. Lily called her insane, but she couldn't help but become disappointed when she woke up the day before the ball still unasked by Lucius.

Lily was going with Severus as friends of said yes to Severus after days of declining James.

Hermione made her way to the great hall to find Lily ignoring James' attempts at talking with her and Peter cheering him on. Sirius and Remus were No where to be found.

"Where's the your other halves?"

"Don't know said they were coming shoulda been here by now."

She glanced over at the slytherin table and found Lucius' normal seat empty. Hermione said,"I'm going to find Lucius. I'll see you in charms."

Without waiting for their reply she was off in search for Lucius for a confirmation he was taking her to the ball tonight.

* * *

Sirius was on his way to pry Remus away from the Library when he found Lucius snogging his cousin against a wall.

"I thought you were dating Hermione." Hi expression unreadable his fist clenched tightly over his wand inside his pocket waiting for Lucius to provoke into using it.

Lucius smirked at Sirius saying,"What black? are you going to preach to me now, about treating a woman right?"

"That wasn't an answer" Sirius knew to win this argument he had to be clever think about what he said, not just start yelling curses at him.

"Yes, Black I am dating Miss Grace, but Cissy doesn't mind, do you?"

"No Lucius." The girl piped up.

"She's not the one I was worried about and you know it!"

"What's this I see? The man-whore Sirius Black is defending the ugly little mudblood's honor?"

"DON'T CALL HER THAT!" He stopped thinking about being clever now. The words poured out of his mouth he had no control over his shouting. He couldn't mask the anger he felt inside.

"I think our little black here has a crush on my Hermione."

"She isn't yours." Sirius mumbled doing a very bad job of keeping himself under control.

"And who's is she because I think we both know she'd never go for you. The werewolf, perhaps. But no not the womanizer Black. Not only that, but she thinks she is unworthy of you. She thinks she is too ugly to be with me in fact. She would _do anything _I ask of her to, only so I won't dump her."

"Your lying. She'd never sleep with scum like you."

"Perhaps, but you see she is going to whether she likes it or not..."

"You wouldn't dare!" His grey eyes growing with aggression as he spoke each word

"I think we both know I would."

That was it for Sirius, he was pushed over the edge. Hermione was good she was kind and pure, that shouldn't be taken from her by a prick like Lucius."You won't."

Lucius walked close to Sirius and stared blankly into his eyes as his amused expression grew wider."And who is going to stop me?"

"Malfoy... You had this coming for a long time." Sirius snarled as he put his wand inside his bag and tossed it to the side.

Sirius took the wand that Lucius had drawn out at some point and through it behind him not caring the least bit if it broke or where it ended up?

"Not such a smart ass now, are you Malfoy?"

Lucius was a good 3 inches taller than Sirius his blue eyes narrowed now he was masking every bit of fear he held inside him. Lucius might have been taller,but strength-wise Sirius could easily hurt him and they both knew it.

"Now black wouldn't want to mess up that pretty pampered hair of yours..."Lucius resorted to his last resort. Insulting which was the wrong move to make with an angry black.

"I think I can make this an exception for you Lucius." He growled before sending his fist flying into Lucius' left eye.

Lucius had no time to recover when another fist came flying into his stomach knocking him on the floor.

"You know Malfoy, You really are pathetic."

Lucius was about to stand up when a scream echoed from down the halls,"SIRIUS BLACK!"

He turned around to face a raging red-faced Hermione stomping towards them. Lucius smirked maliciously as his girlfriend came to scold Sirius Black.

"Hermione... Please you should have heard the things he was saying about you..."

"Oh yes Sirius now what have you ever done in your life to make me believe you? Cheat and manipulate girls? Lie? Prank Severus, Lucius and everyone else who refuses to worship the ground you walk on?"

" But Hermione..."

"NO SIRIUS! I know your upset Lucius is happy! I know your upset because of Remus not communicating with everyine and are trying to blame it all on Lucius for dating me, but we are happy together! Now go away before I..."

"Hermione will you just..."Sirius interupted her, but he was cut off by another one of Hermione's screams,"NO! YOU LISTEN TO ME! NOW GO AWAY BEFORE I... BEFORE I HEX YOUR ARSE INTO NON-EXISTENCE!"

Sirius nodded his head once and walked away leaving a smirking Malfoy and a concerned Hermione tendering to his wounds Sirius had inflicted.

He didn't ponder on the fact each one of her hurtful words was like being stabbed with a steel blade. He didn't recognize the fact one insult about the wonderous girl was enough to throw his anger (which he kept under control most of the time) through the roof. He didn't wonder why his heart fell at the sight of her mad expression or how when Lucius was bragging about her all he wanted was for him to say she was his. No. He put much effort to shoving all of those incoherent thoughts into the back of his mind because Hermione was right...

He was just as bad as Lucius was if not worse... But she was good. Hermione was pure, he would not let someone like Lucius taint her. If it's someone mature she wants then he would get that to her. It couldn't be Lucius though. _Remus_. The thought passed through his mind. She would be happy with him he would never break her heart, but how to prove Lucius was bad, that's the problem...

* * *

_**AlbusPercivalWulfricDumbledo re-sorry no pink lacey knickers, but I hope the fight was just as entertaining...But I might prefer yours better because this made me sad for poor Sirius.**_

_**So I hope you all liked the fight. Here we saw a bit of Sirius' true feelings which he just pushed away yes I know and Hermione misjudged the fight and was blinded by her feelings for Lucius it is sad truely, but Ginny is contacting the order! Will they listen? What do you think? Will anyone believe the girl or will they just ignore her like Ron and Harry?**_

_** Please Take the time to REVIEW please don't make me beg it's not a pretty sight just one review please? And thanks to AlbusPercivalWulfricDumbledo re for reviewing you really make my day better!**_

_**Next chapter: In 1998:The Deatheater drama commences and Ginny finds someone (or maybe more) to help her in her quest at finding the mystery girl. In 1974:Don't want to give too much away someone has a plan which works wonders...Or does it? Some Peoples aren't happy and everything falls apart :( Or does it? **_

_**-Yeah not much info in the 1974 part but I can't give away EVERYTHING. REVIIEW PLEASE**_


	5. 5 Break-ups, lies, Visions & kidnapping

_Hogwarts 1974_

Sirius told Remus about Lucius and he was furious with him Sirius had to tackle the wolf in the common room to stop him from going after the slytherin.

"Remus you have to listen to me! You must listen...I have a plan, but we have to act fast the Halloween ball is tomorrow."

"Why do you care so much about her anyways?"

"I DON'T!" He yelled instantly at Remus."I-uh-I mean I don't I just can't stand that lowlife Slytherin..." Remus heard the doubt by the tone he took. he saw his eyes flutter between the floor and the staircases avoiding all eye-contact he could.

"Fine, just tell me what to do..."

Sirius explained his plan to him and Remus just nodded in agreement. The werewolf was more focussed of Sirius' actions the way his eyes always dropped when he said Hermione's name.

"Sirius... You know if you like her I won't..."

"It doesn't matter if I like her or not!" He said in more of a sigh of defeat. sadness took the usually happiness his tone had.

"Why not?"

"I don't deserve her. I'm not good. I'm a black. I'm rude, arrogant, big-headed, stubborn and childish. I play pranks that only annoy her. She needs someone good not like me. She has seen me with too many girls to ever think I could respect her."

"Would you?"

"I can't see myself treating her as another piece of arse and putting her on a schedule. I can't seem myself slipping away not caring about her feelings. I can't see myself hurting her in any way ever..."

He stopped before he actually admitted to Remus that he could see himself marrying her. He could see their 4 bedroom house, the huge yard with a tire swing and lake that their children would play in. He could see himself being happy with her, but no she wasn't his so the dream of his will be just that, a dream. A place his conscience slips to, but he will never be good enough to wake-up with Hermione in his arms.

"Sirius I wish I could help ya mate..."

"If you want to help me you will make her fall in love with you. You will make her happy and smile. You will stay up so late reading with her that she falls asleep in your arms in the common room and when you both wake-up the next day she will smile. She will have the happy relationship she deserves. She will have the mature sensible bookworm she's looking for."

"Are you sure mate?"

"I want her to be happy. I want her to have the life she deserves I don't care if it's not with me." He said forcing a smile on his face. He ignored the pain in his chest that was growing stronger at the image of Remus with Hermione and not him.

Remus and Sirius walked out Sirius under the invisibility cloak and Remus walking to the Library that was sure to have Hermione in it. He hadn't talked to her in so long. Would she hate him? Would she even care to look at him to give him the time of day? He reached the doors to the library.

Sirius left to look for Lucius in the secret passageways. Once he found him with some Ravenclaw 6th year inside a tunnel leading into the kitchens he silently walked out and sent his wolf Patroness to tell Remus the details on where to bring Hermione.

Remus got the message and walked into the Library his courage that he walked in with was quickly fading the closer to Hermione's table he got.

"Hermione..." Remus said nervously.

"Remus! Oh how I missed you!" She said leaping up engulfing him in a hug.

"You missed me? I thought you would be mad at me?"

"why would I be mad at you Remus?"

"Because...Never mind, but do you trust me Hermione?"

"Yes of course, why?"

"Then follow me please be quiet."He said pulling her out of the Library purposely ignoring her Question.

They were just outside the entrance to the tunnel and Remus took her hand,"I'm really sorry you have to see this, but you have to know. Someone so beautiful and great like you deserves more than this scum." Without waiting for Her to reply he opened the door revealing a shirtless Lucius now trying to undo the Ravenclaw's robes.

"You! You! You bloody arse! NEVER talk to me again! We are done you filthy lying scumbag!" Hermione screamed at Lucius wiping away her tears then running to the gryffindor common room.

Remus chased after her and hugged her tightly. In between her sobs she said,"Remus...B-beat that d-dirty ch-cheater to a p-p-pulp." He stood up and ran back to find him. Anyone who made the strong women cry should be 'beaten to a pulp'

He found the slytherin retreating to the dungeons and pinned him against a wall,"You didn't think I'd let you get away Malfoy did ya?"

"Oh, isn't it the mudbloods little stalker? Now that I'm gone she's yours. You should be thanking me wolf!" Remus blinked and paled slightly swallowing hard before asking,"What?"

"You think I didn't know? I'm not stupid you Lycan. The nickname gives it away as well...Moony." He continued smirking at the Now nervous Gryffindor.

Remus pulled himself together and whipped out his wand pointing it at Lucius but shaking slightly.

"Oh! It's a duel you want? Very well... STUPIFY!" He screamed at Remus who fell to the ground stiff as a board.

"I feel bad for you Lycan I really do. Your so pathetic I pity you." Lucius laughed at the skinny werewolf and turned to leave when a voice made him stop dead in his tracks.

"Lucius... Not enough to break poor girl's hearts now you're picking on the weaker nervous? The were wolf card Lucius? That's low even for a slytherin."

"You have no room to talk black she hates you as much as me."

"That doesn't matter."

"But to you it does. You wish you had her. You wish for once you could kiss her, touch her, be with her."

"SHUT UP MALFOY!"

"Oh black... Don't you get it? By beating me up, by helping The wolf over there get her it still won't win you her.

"I'm not trying to win her. She's not a prize."

"What's this? Do you Love her? I thought she was just some _sexual fantasy _of yours, but you Sirius Black, fell in love with a filthy little Mud..."

Sirius fist hit his Jaw before he could finnish and again in his stomach. He kept punching him one after another each punch harder and harder. He made her cry. He hurt her. He abused her niceness. He should die here and now. He doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as her. Pain. that's what he deserved.

Sirius was too outraged to acknowledge the pathetic begging and cries omitting from Lucius. He couldn't savor the moment and relish in the joy of having Lucius beg him.

He just kept hitting him and every plea made him think of Hermione running away with tears in those glorious bright shining eyes of hers. The corners of her delicate mouth twitched down and quivered with hurt. He hurt her. He must die.

"You...Dirty...Scum...You should die... I could do it you know? I _am a black _after all. I can do it and not have a second thought."He said through gritted teeth.

He smiled at the quivering pile in front of him and added,"But! But I won't. I won't unless you go up to Hermione, In the great hall, Tonight And apologize for being such a Prat. If anyone asks you what happened you tell them your girl caught you cheating and Remus beat your sorry arse. I was never here. You hear me?"

Lucius only nodded Sirius didn't know whether he was incapable of speech or was too stricken with fear to.

He unfroze Remus and when the werewolf silently walked away Lucius attempted to stand but failed. This caused Sirius to laugh slightly and he turned to leave when the scratchy slightly quivering voice spoke through gasps of pain.

"She...will never love you back...No matter...what you...do..."

Sirius ignored him and walked away the words of Lucius kept replaying in his mind. He knew she couldn't love him back-WAIT- he doesn't love her. He likes her. That's all.

Or at least that's what Sirius told himself, but suddenly as he walked through the halls he noticed the girls smiling and flirting with him as usual, but all he saw were girls. No beauty. Nothing. They all looked dull. Their eyes weren't bright and happy like hers. Their smiles didn't make his heart race. Their laughs didn't motivate him to tell jokes and play pranks like hers did. None of them were as good as her. None of them were her. So what was the point in keeping up his schedule with them? What was the point on going out with them?

* * *

_Hogwarts 1998_

Ginny sat in an empty staircase and started to cry. They didn't believe her. The order. The aurors who were supposed to see past logic and reason and trust their got. They told her to think of it logically!

She sat on an abandoned staircase tears threatening to pour out her eyes. 'Hermione Jean Granger.' She knew the name she saw her picture. The de ja vu feeling came up in the pit of her stomach. She needed to save this girl. How? When? Why? No one believes you? Where is she?

The unanswered questions swirled in her mind threatening the tears in her eyes to spill out. She was about to break down had her head between her knees n just before she let out a scream she heard a faint voice calling her name.

The voice was quiet and meek, but it was enough to snap her out of her Psychological Meltdown. She looked up and saw amber eyes awaiting her.

"Ginny! The girl! Her name? What did you say it was?"

"H-her-her Hermione G-g-grang-g-ger."

"Hermione Granger? I think.. No it's simply impossible."

"Professor? W-whats wrong?"

"It's just. I keep getting these. Visions almost of memories from my past. A girl. A girl named Hermione and Her first day at Hogwarts. She was beautiful in my eyes even then as she didn't want to let go of her Mother's hand as a young first year. I remember her sitting with Sirius James Peter And I. She came on just before Lilly and Snivelous did. I saw a book in Her hands and she explained her passion for books. I read with her silently until Sirius started making her laugh. Even then I wasn't good enough for her. I remember the flaming jealousy that I felt that day as he cheered her up.

Then the next year Sirius was more interested in girls. Yes he was young, but that didn't stop him or James I however stayed with her in the Library. I remember the feeling of hatred as I watched her heart-break a little every time she saw Sirius with another girl every day. It showed not on her face. She never cried or said anything but her eyes. They couldn't completely mask away her feelings from me and I longed to be the one she loved.

Third year she gave up on dear Sirius ,but he was oblivious to her ignoring him. He never noticed anything was out-of-place or wrong. He cared about his place on the quidditch field and girls. Thats all. Not dear Hermione. He was always as nice as Sirius could b to her and never intentionally caused her feelings to be hurt, but her feeble attempts to get him jealous went unnoticed and she often snuck down to the common room late at night to cry. I hated myself for being too scared to comfort her. I would only watch her under the cloak dreaming desperately hoping for her to be mine.

Fourth year. She moved in with Lilly over the third year summer because deatheaters killed her parents. She became very close to Snivelous and Lilly. Almost like sisters, but then Sirius took notice of her new appearance and Hermione had not a clue. She thought of Sirius as too good for her. He would never like her. So somehow to which I have no clue she dated Lucius and Thats where my memory gets fuzzy...

The visions they... They come and go as they please. I can't remember unless I have a vision either..Its...Its strange."

"Remus, how could you have known Hermione?"

"It says she was lost in time didn't it?"

"Yes but..."

"I think we have some research to get done Gin. Then maybe we can go directly to Dumbledor with our news."

She leaped up and hugged the werewolf not knowing how to thank him. He didn't believe her to be crazy! He trusted her. he believed her and Not only that he was willing to _help_ her. She couldn't express in words the joy that was swelling inside her, but the joy was short-lived as the oh-too-familiar cackle sounded from around the corner.

"Oh moony I thought you knew the dark arts? I thought you knew before you reveal information to check the damned corner!"

"What do you want malfoy?" Ginny spat at draco in disgust.

"Oh my little blood-traitor. Don't be so rude to the man who holds both your lives in his hands."

"What are you going on about this time _Ferret_?"Ginny teased.

"Haha. Clever little witch aren't you Weaslette? Now take a good look. You are surrounded by slytherins and Death eaters. Oh and by the ways.. EXPELIARMUS." He shouted and both their wands flew into the hands of Draco. He waved on his death eaters and said,"They know too much and the wolf is a vital source of information about the Girl. Take them both into the dungeons inside the room of requirement."

The death eaters obeyed him and his lips twitched into a smile once more. Now He had to get rid of that Weasle and Potter was his to kill and torture. Then he would get him father for being a coward make him pay. Then he could rise to power. He understood the one thing Voldemort didn't he understood Love. He felt it... Once before. He was loved before as well. He was better than Voldemort and this time they could win! This time He would make sure of it!

_**Oh boy oh boy! SO much happened in this chappy! (I FUCKIN LOVE SIRIUS' LITTLE FIGHT THING)**_

_** But I hate how He made Lucius tell People it was Remus, I'm sorry if I'm making Remus out to seem as a wimpy little coward... I know he is a werewolf, but he always seemed so timid to me DON'T WORY Remus will have his shining moment soon enough.. DRACO WILL NOT DIE. So don't worry I can't imagine Tom Felton dying :c I would cryyy.**_

_** Any Questions? Concerns? ANYTHING JUST PLEASE REVIEW! If I get ten reviews for this chapp I will make the next one THE BEST CHAPTER IN THE WORLD.. also **hint hint** Reviews might motivate me to write more... **hint hint** REVIEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW**_


	6. 6-Remus and Hermione 3

Lucius Malfoy walked into the room His face coated with purple and Blue from his bruises and his lip stitched up the muggle way. His clothes still stained with blood and he Walked directly to where Hermione sat with a smug looking Remus, A confused James and a rather annoyed Lilly, but her annoyance faded as she saw Lucius walking to Hermione.

When he approached her Lilly and James stood up to defend her from him knowing what had happened earlier that day. Hermione waved them down and said without the least bit of interest,"Hello Lucius."

"Hermione.. I am sorry for my outrageous behavior I was clearly out of line and needed Remus to teach me a lesson to realize how wrong indeed my actions to you were. I didn't care about your feelings or any other girl's I messed up greatly because you truly are a great girl One of the most nice and charming women I have ever met. You don't have to accept my apology, but know that I mean every word of it."

Hermione nodded, but said nothing she felt a surge of pride wash over her and when Lucius left she turned to Remus, "You did that to him...For me?"

"Well.. Yeah. I just you know because you're all... You know." He was lost for words seeing the amazing beauty's eyes glowing with admiration for him. With pride in him and maybe love?

She didn't say anything. She stopped thinking about logic for only a moment and listened to her instincts, She leaned her head up to meet his lips in a passionate kiss and when she pulled away she brought a hand up to tussle his hair as she locked his amber eyes with hers and said,"Thank you Remus, it means the world to me I truly thank you."

She stood up and walked out. Leaving an open mouthed ,shocked Remus and two utterly confused friends by the names of James and Lilly. She passed the slytherin table who were all mostly concerned with Lucius but sh spotted Severus and waved him over to her and he gladly followed. Once they were out of ear shot from everyone he said,"So since when do you like werewolves?"

"Sev... You know that's not funny. You never made jokes about Lucius."

"Well I liked Lucius. I didn't think he would hurt you like that Herms.. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault Sev... Besides Remus dealt with it."

"About that Herms... I don't think they were telling the truth because well in all reality Remus is more of a wand type not a fighter. He is small and weak. All Lucius would have to do was bring up something like I don't know him being a Werewolf and he would choke. By the way Lucius was glancing around it was like he was looking for someone. He was lying to you I could tell."

"Sev. He is a wolf after all they have rage Spurts too. If he was truly mad he could do it."

"I suppose. Anyways I have to tell you and Lilly something It's not. er. easy for me to..." He paused for a moment and looked at the smiling face of the ecstatic girl before him. They girl who comforted him. Who befriended him in the summer. Somewhere over the summer he grown attached to her. Not the way he loved Lilly. No, more like a sister. He couldn't make her upset now that she was so full of joy. He wouldn't be the one to break her mood. SO when he continued he said,"Oh never mind I guess I can tell you some other time. I've gotta go Herms."

He left the smirking girl alone in the hallway and once she was sure he was gone she ran up to the common room and into her dorm. She laid down on her better and said to no one,"This one is the one...I'm sure of it. He wouldn't hurt me. This one is the one I can feel it." She sighed and tried to get some sleep. Once she found out that she wouldn't be able to she walked quietly down to the busy common room. She sat in front of the fire and began to read.

Hours later she noticed it was 5 minutes to midnight and the earlier loud crowded room was now silent and no one else was in it. She yawned and let her eyes flutter shut.

She fell asleep without noticing the person coming down the steps of the boys dorm. He walked over to the couch but when he went to sit he saw the sleeping Hermione there and smiled at her peaceful state.

He brushed his hand over her cheek and smiled slightly as he pushed a strand of hair behind her grey eyes studied her carefully and He sighed sadly as he said,"The things you can do to me. The things I do for you. You will never know how much I love you 'Mione. You will never know how much I've changed. In your eyes I will always be this immature prankster. And I am that, but I only wish you could see I would give it all up for you to be mine. You're the only girl I try to make laugh with my pranks. I never tried to ask you out because you're not just another girl. No matter how many girls I snog in a day you're the one I fall asleep thinking about, you're the one in my dreams at night. You're the one I have to let go because if I tried to fight for you ,I couldn't make you happy. Not ever. You deserve happiness and love, But I promise you that I will do everything I can to make you live a happy life. I will always protect you. Always."

He looked at her once more and picked her up. He said the spell to make the slide disappear and walked up to her dorm. He layed her down and tucked her in before saying,"If only you knew. If only things were different then maybe...No I promise 'Mione you will be happy. I promise." Then left the room to go back to the common room.

He sat on the now empty couch and sighed,"Only that girl can make me ever admit something that sappy. Oh god I'm turning into Moony! Oi I'm getting as obsessive as Prongs. Great Merlin what has that girl done to me!" He complained into a pillow."

"Sirius? Sirius Orion Black? Was that you up in my room?" Said a soft confused voice standing behind him.

"Oh bloody hell!" Sirius complained at the familiar voice.

He looked behind him and his suspicions were confirmed as the red-haired green-eyed figure stood with her arms crossed and eye-brows raised awaiting an answer to her earlier question.

"Well darlin', sit down and let me confirm the sappy story of what that girl has reduced me to." Lilly sat down across from him and said nothing as Sirius began to explain everything to the petite red-head.

* * *

Ginny sat in a cage and said," You know Harry will look for us. Dumbledore will look for us!"

"My dear, You really underestimate me don't you?"

"Will you stop with these antics Malfoy! If your going to tell us then do it!"She snapped at him

"Fine, Now you see. You somehow know your precious Hermione was sent back. I have time on my side. It's a delicate matter indeed, but now I have you to tell me of her my Lycan. I also have trapped you to in a timeroom. Yes the name is quite ununique ,but what it does is it traps it's inhabitants in it and for them time almost... Stops, It's quite hard to explain. For you a week is like a day on the outside. It makes you believe you are trapped for longer then you really are wich leads me to the Potter. He won't be a problem soon enough. We will rule the world once more. Now because we have TIME on our side."

"Your being awfully vague malfoy." Remus stated quite confused.

"You will both understand soon enough..." He said before leaving the two alone, confused, and trapped.

Ginny squealed and slid down hugging her knees.

Remus attempted to comfort her but was unsuccessful Ginny silently sobbed until she choked out the words,"What if they never find us. What if we are stuck here forever Remus what if Harry moves on from me and gets married and forgets what if everyone just forgets us?"

"They won't"He said trying to sound convinces but the doubt in his words was evident.

"You don't know that."

"And you don't know that they will either, Its your fear talking. you must take away your fear and look at the situation with a clear mind."

"If we could push away emotions that easily we wouldn't be Human." Ginny stated her words surprising the werewolf. She sounded so old for just a 17-year-old girl. Since when did children become so wise.

Then it became clear to him. Words that someone had told him so long ago,_'war changes children. Either they grow-up young like you, Lily and I or they stay young forever and cherish their youth like Sirius and James.' _He didn't know who had said it or when. But he knew there was more to it and that the memory was one of his worst ones he ever had.

_**Review please? If you read it please review I don't care if it's just good chapter or a long one (I prefer longer ones but I'll take what I can get) I know Sirius wouldn't admit those things, but this is before azkaban toughen him up and Hermione is driving him crazy ,people do crazy things for love...**_

___**Hehehehe Next chapter will be a good one I pinky swear... I swear on Sirius That you won't want to miss next chapter**_

_**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**_


	7. Chapter 7

Sirius stood waiting for Lilly to reply to his story. After what seamed to him like an eternity she said,"You like Hermione?"

"Well... I guess ...yeah" He said thinking that it was obvious he did.

"Since when?!" She asked in disbelief.

"I'm not sure really."

"Well Sirius are you aware that she was in love with you since her first year in this place?"

"What?"

"Hermione had a crush on you since first year, but you ignored her, unless it was to play some prank, just like she was oblivious to Remus' affection for her. She liked you until she thought she had no chance with you in third year, she thought she would 'never compare to those gorgeous girls your always with.' She thought you were out of her league and decided to move on. She never called you a man-whore or a pig though. Unlike what I do to James. She stopped talking with you all together. You two were done in her mind any chances there were with you were gone. This year after her parents-you know- She said she had no feelings for you at all. She was done chasing a dream that never would happen."

"She thought I was too good for her?"

"Yes, I don't see why though, frankly Sirius I think she is the one that's too good for a jerk like you or James."

"I know she is. I never said she wasn't. I am all those things I abuse women. I'm just as bad as Lucius."

"You were..."

"What?"

"You used to be just as bad as him, but you're not Sirius. You lied to make your friend happy to make her happy. She'll be happy with Remus you know she will. You two wouldn't have worked out anyways like she says all the time, 'Children during war either Grow-up early or stay young forever clinging to a childhood that was trying to be taken from them drowning their darkness with pranks and immaturity."

"And she chose to grow-up right? Just like Remus? Just like Lucius that's why she chose them they're adults. I'm just a joke right? I know I'm not good , but damn it I would treat her right. I woulda grown-up if that's what she wanted from me. I woulda gave up everything for her to be happy, not be with me , but be happy. I wouldn't have treated her like dirt. I wouldn't stand her up. I'd be better for her. I'm just a joke to you and her aren't I? Just like James is to you? He fucking loves you for merlins sake! Just because he shows off his god given talents and doesn't shower you with poems and roses doesn't mean he loves you any fucking Less! We aren't jokes and we shouldn't be treated like we are! You know what fuck this! Bloody hell! Where's the bloody cloak? Now Forget it I'll get the bloody thing in the morning."

Sirius stomped up the stairs grumbling under his breath the entire way leaving Lilly on the couch alone she sighed and said,"There's the Sirius I know. There's our Black temper coming out... I thought she broke him for a moment there." She put out the fire picked up the cloak that was on the floor in a wrinkled pile, folded it neatly and placed it on the table where one of the marauders were sure to find it, but just in case they didn't she left a piece of parchment with the word Marauders on it on top of it so one of them would take it back to James in the morning.

She retreated to her room thinking about what Sirius had said. She knew James liked her, in his own flirtatious I guess he was telling her how he felt, but she was right they could never work out he would annoy her too much. He wouldn't take her or anything seriously, and he was a pig and his head was so large she didn't know how they found a quidditch helmet big enough for him. Sirius was just mad.

But even she had to admit she would have loved to see if Hermione could have turned Sirius good. She had doubts but something told her it was possible. The thought left her mind when she laid on her bed to retreat to her slumber.

* * *

_Hermione and Lily Pov Hogwarts Halloween ball 1974_

Hermione walked down the staircase dressed as a french maid, not one of those provokingly slutty ones. No not even in this lifetime would Hermione wear something like that. Lilly who was dressed as a pirate was next to her.

Both girls were going to the ball without dates, not that Lilly was never asked, but the fact was the only one who asked her was James and he intimidated all the other boys too much for any of them to try asking.

Hermione was hoping she could get Remus to fall for her by the end of the night. This was her goal. Yeah she kissed him, but he seemed too shy to even bring it up.

They arrived into the ballroom and Hermione realised how impossible it would be to find him in a crowed like this and she didn't even know what costume he was in...

The two girls were out of their element no books, homework, quills or knowledgable people were anywhere to be found. They girls would be lying if they said they weren't scared because never before had they tried going to a ball at Hogwarts they were always too young, and were excited they were finally able to go. Now they wanted nothing more then to curl up in their beds and read, but its too late to turn back now so they both retreated to a corner of the room near the punch bowl where they were happy to stay the whole night at.

They were both glad their costumes had masks with them and that they applied disfigurement charms on each other so the inly thing recognizable about them were their eyes.

* * *

_Marauder's Pov Hogwarts Halloween ball 1974_

The party has already been started for an hour and James still hasn't found Lily yet.

Him Sirius and Remus went as the three musketeers and Peter said he had other things to be doing some sort of family meeting in nocturne alley... James didn't think much of it he was just worried about guys flirting with his Lily. He'd get her to fall for him...eventually.

Then he spotted a ladybug costume. The girl underneath it is what had interested him most. She was too tan to be his Lily. Her hair that was slipping of her bun was blonde not the strawberry smelling red hair he adored on her, but her eyes. The sparkling green pure joyous eyes were there. She was his Lily he knew it. She had to have cast some type of spell.

Next to her was a maid who he had no idea who that could be he assumed it was Hermione so he nudged Remus in the arm to get his attention.

"Moony. I think that's Lils and Hermione over there."

"The French Maid? No that's not Hermione's style and that Ladybug has blonde hair prongs..."

"It's Lily and if your that sure it's not Hermione with her I'll just take pads with me."

"Be my guest I'm finding my witch."

"She's not your witch yet Moony you havent even asked her out yet mate."

"In time, prongs, in time."

With that Remus left in search of his Hermione.. Leaving Sirius and James standing alone staring at the two witches huddled in the corner of the room.

James looked at his best friend and said,"You don't think we are that recognizable are we?"

"Prongs, seeing the fact that I've been here an hour and not a single girl has hit on me I'd say that our costumes are just as good as Lily's disfigurement charms."

"So you think it's them?"

Sirius looked over at the girls and saw them true they both looked nothing like Hermione or Lily , nothing but her eyes they were hers. True they were not as recognizable as Lily's bright green one's but they had a spark in them a sense of pureness in them that he knew had to be Hermione, but he was selfish. He knew if he admitted it was Her then he would have to call Remus back over and let him have his night with the girl. Let her fall for Remus and not him. It's what he wanted, but she could fall for him on a different day, Halloween was his night and he wasn't giving it up to Remus. He could always tell her it was Remus later on.

"I don't think that's Mione with her. Lily has a lot of friends though so she could be with someone else Mione's probably huddled with another group of girls in a different corner."

"I think your right padfoot."

"No nicknames. We don't tell them our real names either not unless they tell us theirs and if they do which I know Lily wouldn't we tell them fake names got it?"

"Good thinking Pa-.." James said catching himself at the last-minute.

With a deep breath from James they both started walking over to the girls and Sirius was the first to actually speak when he said,"Umm hello ladies."

Both girls looked at the two boys for a moment before The lady bug said,"Are you talking to us?"

"Yeah who else would we be talking to?" James replied smoothly.

"A Prettier girl in a shorter skirt..." The maid said sourly.

"Why would we talk to girls like that? do we come across as those types of guys?" Sirius said thinking she had already figured them out.

"I suppose not, what are you supposed to be by the way?"

sirius relaxed slightly and said,"The three musketeers our third member is searching for his girl."

"Ohh, who are you so we know who were messing around with?" The lady bug said but before either boy answered The maid cut in,"we won't be messing around with anyone in any sense..."

"We weren't looking for that we were just wondering if we could sit and...talk with you two?" James said chosing his words carefully.

"I suppose that would be alright." when the maid finished her sentence the two boys took their seats across from the girls.

"So...Who are you under those masks..." The maid said more relaxed, but her nervousness was clear in her words.

At this Sirius had to hold back a chuckle as he answered,"Well, love, we could ask you the same thing, but you won't tell us either now would you?"

The witch pursed her lips together and said,"Fair enough, what house?"

"Gryffindor."James answered,"You?"

"We're both Gryffindors."The lady bug replied.

"So we know each other... interesting."James replied smiling at Lily.

"We might..What year?" Lily asked.

"Fourth you?"

"Fourth, we do know each other than I know most Gryffindors in our year."

"Now let's make a deal..."James said with a mischievous smile and glint in his eye telling Sirius he was up to something.

"What kind of deal...?"

"We ask each other questions and by the end of the night if one of us guesses who the other is They have to say who they are.."

"I'm not sure I follow you."

"If I guess who you are by the end of the night I have to tell you who I am. If you guess who I am by the end of the night You must tell me who I am." James said simply

"Deal.." Lily said with a small smile.

* * *

_Hogwarts 1998_

Harry Walked into his room to find Ron reading a letter,"Who's that from?"

"Mum.. You got one too..."

Harry walked over to his bed and picked up the parchment on his bed.

_Dear Harry,_

_We don't want to worry you, but we have had no word from Remus since he went to the meeting Ginny called on the order. It has only been 2 days, but it's not like him to leave me here with teddy especially without warning or any contact. Do you know where he is? Or have any Idea where he may be? Please get back to us soon. Mrs. Weasley is also worried about Ginny. McGonagall flooed her saying Ginny hasn't been to any classes or meals and wanted to know if she was at the burrow which she wasn't. If you or Ron know she is that would put her mind at ease._

_Love Tonks_

"Ron...Have you seen Ginny?"

"No why?"

"Something's up. I know it. I mean she kept going on about this girl and then she disappears after the meeting with Lupin... Maybe you should stop talking to cho..."

"Cho? What does my bloody girlfriend have to do with this?"

"Nothing just you know in that note Ginny wrote it said cho and Lavender had stuff to do with it.."

"Your just jealous!"

"JEALOUS?!"

"Yeah. She wants me now and not you so you're trying to turn me on her and leave her so you can have her!"

"Ron! Your being ridiculous I love Ginny...Your sister who may I remind you is BLOODY MISSING"  
"I don't have to take this I can go and see my BLOODY GIRLFRIEND..." Ron yelled as he stomped out the door muttering words of a no good jealous git.

Harry collapsed on his bed and messaged his temples,"How is it as soon as things seem good someone always ends up missing. He looked over at the picture of his parents that rested on his nightstand,"Don't worry Gin I won't let them take away anyone else I love."

* * *

_Halloween ball 1974 Hermione's POV_

Hermione laughed at The musketeers joke then looked up at the dance floor to see Lily dancing. WAIT. Her Lily. Her bookworm no-fun strait-A student best friend was dancing like a goon on the floor with the other Musketeer.

"Wow... That's the happiest I have ever seen her."

"That's the first Time i saw prongs smile like that since...well ever."

Hermione's eyes widened at the words...Prongs. That was James...James Potter. So that meant that she had to have been talking to one of the other 3, but which one?

"Okay who's turn was it?"

"I think it was your turn to ask me."

"That's right... What's something that you wish you could tell someone, but would never do it."

"Well, I'm not good with words I'm not good at expressing myself, but I guess I would want to tell the girl I lov-Like...Like the truth about everything."

"what do you mean?"

"I'd tell her the truth about everything I've done for her about how I don't deserve her and she's too good for me."

"What do you mean what you did for her."

"Well I secretly have been taking care of her when she doesn't notice who it is and she has been thinking it was another guy."

"Oh?"

"Yeah 'cuz she'd never be with me or be happy with me. She deserves to be happy more than I do and so does the other guy. I don't deserve happiness. Besides the girl's not my type."

"OH? and you have a type?"

"No! I mean GIRL is my type, but I'M not HER type."

"This girl... she has a type?"

"Well she always says this...quote. SHe says how war makes children either grow up too fast and others try and stay young and immature... Or something along those lines and she is mature and smart and amazing and me.. I'm none of that."

"Oh...Your turn."

"If you could be with anyone right now who would it be?"

"Well... I'm not sure. If I never met you probably Remus I suppose, but since I started talking to you I'd much rather stay here."

"Ah?" He asked in somewhat if disbelief and fake hope that she might be falling for him, but he quickly shook away that feeling. She was Remus' not his.

"Yes I would Your funny in a way Remus never is. You made me forget about all my worries and I feel like I can tell you anything right now and I don't even know you."

"Who says I'm not Remus?"

"OH you are not. I can just tell."

"Who do you think I am?"

"Hey! It's my turn."

"Fine then ask."

"Do you have any suspicions who I am we've been talking for over 2 hours now."

"Sweetheart, I knew who you were from across the room when I first spotted you."

"You did now?"

"Of course. Your eyes are full of pureness and good happiness. They have this sparkle to them that I've only ever seen in your eyes."

"Than who am I?"

"Hermione Grace. You can deny it if you want, but I know it's you and over there is Lily dannncccee- They aren't dancing anymore." He added the last part with a wicked grin flashing in their direction.

Hermione turned to look at them and saw Lily kissing James her eyes widened and she noted James himself looked completely shocked."Wow Lils what've you done now?" Hermione muttered.

She looked back towards her musketeer and said," now you have to tell me who you are."

"afraid I can't ,love"

"And why is that?"

"I want you to remember me as that stupid guy in the costume who flirted with you. Not for the jerk I really am." It was quiet for a moment before a slow song came on the speakers and he said,"Dance with me?"

"I can't dance."

"poor excuse miss. Grace. You can do anything."

"Fine." she mumbled as she took his hand and walked to the dance floor.

He started leading and Hermione attempted keeping up with him, but found herself stepping on his toes to many times. He chuckled a few times before he lifted Hermione onto his toes and danced with her and he chuckled again when she laughed at his actions.

She listened to the words of the song. It was a muggle one.

_Hard to love._

_I am insensitive I have a tendency to pay more attention to the things that_  
_I need._  
_Sometimes I drink to much, sometimes I test your trust, sometimes I dunno_  
_Why you're staying with me?_

_I'm hard to love, hard to love, I don't make it easy, I couldn't do it if I_  
_Stood where you stood_  
_I'm hard to love, hard to love, you say that you need me, I don't deserve_  
_It but I love that you love me. goood_

_I am a short fuse, I am a wrecking ball crashing into your heart like I do_  
_You're like a Sunday morning full of grace and full of Jesus I wish that I_  
_Could be more like you._

_I'm hard to love, hard to love, I don't make it easy, I couldn't do it if I_  
_Stood where you stood, _  
_I'm hard to love, hard to love, you say that you need me, I don't deserve_  
_It but I love that you love me. Goood_  
_Love me good_

_Girl you've given me a million second chances and I don't ever wanna take_  
_You for granted, I'm just a man, I'm just a man_

_Hard to love, hard to love, oh I don't make it easy and I couldn't do it if_  
_I stood where you stood._  
_I'm hard to love, hard to love and you say that you need me, I don't_  
_Deserve it but I love that you love me. good. (x2)_

_You love me good_.

To Hermione even as closely as she was listening to the lyrics she didn't understand them as much, but at some point during the dance she ended up with her head resting on her musketeers shoulder.

"if we could where masks for the rest of our lives I would do something really stupid right now."

"Like what?"

"I'd kiss you. I'd tell you how much I love you. I'd be selfish and keep you to myself. I'd do anything so you'd be mine forever."

"Whats stopping you?"

"You deserve better. Like the song says I'm too hard to love. You'd never be able to be with me."

"If you'd just tell me..."

"I have been selfish and cruel to women my whole life, I can't be selfish with the only girl I know that's pure and good. I can't have you. If you knew who I was... I already hurt you more than I thought I ever could. Be with Remus he really loves you."

"Since you know who I am will you write me?"

"Probably not..."

"Please?" Sirius looked down at the girl. He was now experiencing her kind gentleness first hand and her big eyes looked up at him pleadingly. He would have told her everything in that moment if she would have only asked. But she didn't need to know that so he smiled slightly and nodded to her promising he'd write her.. For Sirius that would be mistake number 5 he made last night.

He was keeping track:

Mistake number 1:He went over to her, instead of getting moony

Mistake number 2: He told her his real feelings and did not lie once to her

Mistake number 3: He convinced her it wasn't Remus

MIstake number 4: He called James Prongs

Mistake number 5: He promised to write to her

She smiled up at him and said,"You know I will find out."

"I hope not."

Hermione looked into the grey eyes she could have sworn she's seen before and felt something she hasn't felt since her parents died. She felt safe. She felt wanted. She felt like she belonged here. With him forever. She wanted nothing less than to find out, but if she said anything he would back away again. So she didn't say a word. Instead she stepped out of her shell. SHe stopped thinking. She went on her instincts which were screaming at her to lean up and kiss him.

Sirius' eyes widened at first, but then he regained control over himself and made the biggest mistake of the evening. He kissed her back. As soon as he realized what he was doing he backed off of her and without even good-bye he left her. Standing alone on the dance floor at the ball. He left and went to walk up the staircase only to have a stunning spell thrown at his back halfway up the stairs.

He fell to the ground flat as a board as he saw Her walking up,"I thought you knew I wouldn't go down without a fight..."

He closed his eyes hoping when he opened them he would awake in his bed again so he wouldn't have made all the mistakes he already had.

'That's_ a lie' _He argued with himself '_You wouldn't take back that kiss for anything in this world.'_

He ignored the taunting voice not excepting it as true.

He opened his eyes to find a very amused Hermione looking down at him,"You'll write to me?"

He just looked at her not being able to speak

"I'll unfreeze you, but you must promise me on everything you have to write to me at least once?"

She unfrozen him and he sat up,"I'll write to you, but you have to promise not to find out who I am. Not to spend your days worrying about who I could be, where I am. Just be with Remus, Be happy?"

"Write me and we'll see." was her reply and she walked back down the stairs to the ball. Sirius stood up and proceeded his walk to Gryffindor tower counting his mistakes and the effect they could have on his overall plan

_**Woe...Long chappy and sorry for the long wait I had a bit of writers block where I would just stair at the screen not knowing how to continue. How was this chappy? Good? No? COMMENT! please! I've had the WORST week ever! I need SOMETHING positive.**_

_**Now the song will have more meaning later on I had to incorporate it in somewhere though and what better than a ball/Dance type thing? I made Hermione a maid cuz that's my costume this year ;) and In my other story I made Ginny a ladybug so I just thought it would be cute to make Lily one... I'm also sorry if the mask thing was a bit cliché for you I find masks and balls** romantic!_

_**The quote Hermione is always saying has more meaning to! don't forget the ending of the chapter before this! It's important-ish**_

_**READ+REVIEW... LOVE YOU GUYS AND HAPPY (LATE) BIRTHDAY TO AlbusPercivalWulfricDumbledo re**_


	8. Chapter 8

_Hogwarts 1976_

Hermione walked into her room she shared with Lilly. Her usual routine would be to jump into her bed and land face down on the pillow and wait for Lily to leave so she could retrieve the usual note that was always hidden under her pillow every friday after classes, but this time a red-haired witch was lying on her bed reading what looked a lot like her usual letter.

She tried not to panic. It might not be her note. It could always be a letter to Lily from her parents it was almost christmas now they write a lot around this time of year. Then she saw it the paw print on the envelope. The paper was not normal parchment it was charmed to be a light periwinkle color... which happened to be her favorite color. There was also the scent the letter always had, speriment. She didn't know what he did to it to make it smell like that, but whatever he did she loved the smell.

"How long has this been going on for?" Lily said not yet looking at Hermione. Her voice was calm showing none of her many emotions that were swelling inside her at the moment

"Whats are you talking about Lils?" Hermione replied trying to sound as nonchalant as she possibly could.

"You're a smart girl you know bloody well what I'm talking about! Who is this from how's it get here and why?" NOw Lily's anger was evident in each words as she spit it out. Her face was shrunk into utter disgust for her friend it was obvious she assumed the worst.

Instead of defending herself right away Hermione grew angry with her for assuming she would do something so low as to cheat and yelled,"I owe you no sort of explanation to anything you're the one snooping through my belongings! I think you're the one who owes me answers!"

"Fine! I was trying to be nice and make up your sheets so when you came in and passed out as usual You wouldn't have a messy bed, but then I find a love letter from a boy who is not your boyfriend!" Lily said, her voice growing even louder than it already was her green eyes locked Hermione's in a piercing gaze

"It's not a love letter..." Hermione said almost too quiet to be audible.

"Then I can show Remus?" Lily asked challengingly, but her voice was now back to its usual pitch.

"NO! Lily... Please don't it's not bad."

"Who's it from?" Lily was still hurt and not yet convinced of Hermione's actions.

"I don't know his name but..."

"RUBBISH!" Lily yelled thinking she knew what Hermione was up to.

"I don't okay do you remember two years ago at our first halloween ball? Before I ever dated Remus?" Hermione spit out before Lily left the room and did something stupid.

"Yes what about it?"Lily asked angry not showing the confusion swirling inside her thoughts

"Do you remember our musketeers? The one you kissed and the one who sat talking to me?"

"It's him? Your talking to him? You've been talking to him for two years now Hermione..." Lily said with pity in her voice, but her face showed to relief that she felt knowing Hermione wasn't cheating on Remus who was one of her very dear friends

"It's not like I'm cheating... You make it sound horrible!" Hermione spat out before she erupted in tears

"Hermione..."Lily said trying to comfort her sobbing friend. She sat next to Hermione and patted her back soothingly hoping she would stop crying.

"Don't act like you still don't think about your musketeer. Don't act like if you had the chance to talk to him you wouldn't do it."

"We barely knew them... For all we know they could've been lying to us about everything."

"They weren't, they were honest with us..."

"You want to believe they were, but how can you really tell? They wouldn't even tell us their names..."

"You know they were telling the truth! You wouldn't have snogged him if you didn't believe it."

"Hermione, it was two years ago. What are you trying to achieve by writing to a guy you met one time two years ago?"

"If I stop then I don't have him anymore."

"You don't need him. You have me here and Remus... You know your boyfriend who you're in love with."

"I don't" Hermione choked out before breaking down in tears again and pushing her face into her pillow in hopes of shutting out the rest of the world.

"What?" Lily asked hoping she heard wrong.

"I don't love him. I can't love him. I've tried, but I never really did. I hoped that maybe if I waited long enough I would learn to love him, but it's no use."

"Oh, Hermione..."

"I don't understand why I don't. He is everything I always said I wanted. He is smart, honest, kind, he's serious and shy. He's mature which I need..."

"Hermione do you remember that saying you always tell people?"

She nodded and Lily said," In war children either grow up too fast, like Remus ,you and myself, but others they cling to the innocence of youth and they pull pranks and act immature all together. Thats what war does to us Hermione."

"Yes I know which is why I don't understand why I don't love Remus..."

"Hermione, maybe you were looking at it wrong... Since you grew up too fast you don't need someone who is like you, but someone who is childish to bring out the child in you and the childish person needs someone like us to help them grow up a little bit. They need us and we need them to balance us out."

Hermione said nothing she just sat pondering this for a moment. she was a sixth year had she really been thinking backwards this entire time? No she couldn't have been could she?

* * *

_Hogwarts 1998_

Remus and Ginny were sitting in the room they had lost track of time and everything they were utterly alone Ginny said,"Remus how long have we been in here?"

"I'm not quite sure a long time though..."

"Do you think they even noticed we were missing?"

"I hope so I don't know how much longer I can take being trapped." Remus voice was faint and barely a whisper the visions keep coming and coming all at once like they were just happening... Memories would disappear or get mixed his mind felt like a swelling balloon and he didn't know how much longer he had until he... popped

_**Sorry i skipped ahead a bit, but I had to get the story rolling here is what happened Remus and Hermione started dating after the Halloween ball that you saw, but Hermione kept in touch with her mystery guy and now Hermione discovers a new side to her oh so famous quote REVIEW PLEASEEEE **_


	9. 9 heart-breaks

_Hogwarts 1998_

Ginny sat on the cold floor now not knowing anything her memories were all that were holding her together. Thoughts of Harry and her family and the love that emitted them made her stronger, but there was a source of love and care that was unnamed. She remembered long late night talks with a girl, but her face was clouded over and her name was unrecognizable. She was forgetting more and more with each passing moment. Some nights she would dream of her mystery friend and wake up screaming out in agony as Harry had done.

Remus on the other hand was slowly going insane. His mind was turning into mush as he did not know the difference from reality and his dreams. He had no idea if some of his memories were made up or actually happened. He was afraid to sleep. He hadn't eaten a thing in what must have been days. Malfoy hasn't been in to visit in a while either. Something must be wrong and he knew it. He was in the corner and his eyes were darting around the room his senses were keen now and then it hit him... The full moon was approaching. BY the state of nervousness and jumpiness he was in now he knew he only had a week at the most to get out or moony would come out and well... Ginny would be unrecognizable by the time they escaped.

Remus leapt out of his sitting position as the cold smell of evil that he used top categorize as voldemort entered his nostrils and sure enough the door handle began to wiggle ever so slightly.

Malfoy entered the room an evil smirk on his face and Remus snarled at him and walked back to his corner.

"Grab the wolf tie him down! Now!" He commanded the hooded figures.

Remus spun around his amber eyes now glowing and he let out a loud growl as moony prepared to defend himself.

Ginny touched his shoulder slightly as to not set him off and she said in a meekly voice,"Remus please just do what he wants He'll leave us alone then. Do you want to be tortured yet again?"

"Moony can take him."

"But You can't Remus... Moony will come out and tear them apart, but when Remus comes back he will be weak and tired it will drain your energy even more... Please Remus don't leave me here all alone?" The small girl pleaded her eyes wide and sincere. He stared into the girl's eyes and she watched as the glow subdued and his chest calmed down suggesting his breathing was now slower. His defensive stance turned into one of giving up. His hands flew up to his head suggesting he surrendered and the death-eaters came to put on his restraints.

They chained each of his wrists to the wall as well as his legs and on around his neck. He was now in shackles... His mind flew to the memory of Sirius. _When he came back from Azkaban Remus had forced him to show him through a Pensieve on just how bad things were... Whenever he was especially disobeying or they needed a laugh they would put him in shackles similar to this and watch dementors slowly turn their souls into death._

"Yes the filthy mut did have it rough, He wasn't even a follower I bet that got you really pissed didn't it?" Malfoy taunted as if reading his mind.

"Keep yourself out of my head malfoy you don't know what you'll hear in there." He snarled struggling to keep eye contact with him against his neck shackle. which was unbelievably tight.

"On the contrary Remus, That is exactly what I intend. I am going to...extract your memories find the girl. And well I'm sure you remember what had happened to her don't you?" He asked his dark grey eyes meeting the amber ones in front of him.

Remus growled Loud and rough he struggled to break the restraints but they were also magically bonded to the wall. His blood was now pulsing through his body and the veins in his neck were clear to see his muscles were all contracting as he struggled within the restraints.

His lips quivered even more as he grunted and growled to try and break free his eyes flashed a glowing amber once again signaling Moony was coming out. It was time he could feel it and then through the tiniest window he saw the reflection of the moon through the bars and that's what broke him out.

With a bark he turned into the wolf and the chains were all broken in one fluid motion. Malfoy screamed and began to run leaving his three minions behind. Two escaped with no harm, but the one was left and Mooney was hungry.

Ginny heard the Death-eater's pleas and begging and she closed her eyes shut tightly and prayed not to be spotted she was also much to weak to try and make an escape. So she just hoped she'd go unnoticed.

Her hopes died as the wolf with blood stained fur made his way over to her at first he was growling, but Ginny's eyes cracked open slightly peering into his soul-searching for Remus and she choked out her voice was weak and strained and it looked as if she was in immense pain from just speaking alone,"Remus please, don't." and her eyes closed again. She needed help.

The wolf whined and he pulled her onto his back and set off at a run out the door... He didn't know where he was going, but he knew the girl needed help and it was worth everything even risking his secret of were-wolf to all of Hogwarts.

* * *

_1975 Hogwarts_

Lily walked into the prefects bathroom and heard...muttering. Someone talking? who would be in here at this time of night? it was 2am and Lily needed a bath and she couldn't sleep and figured a good bath could help her, but it wasn't out of ordinary for her to do that she did it quite often ,but has never found or heard anyone else in it in all her times coming in.

So she drawled her wand an walked towards the noise she slowly opened the door to one of the stalls and what she saw was so much worse than anything she could have imagined it was.

She saw Remus sitting staring at a necklace and pictures in his hands, but he wasnt crying just whispering words as if the picture Hermione was real.

"R-remus?"

"Oh? Lily? What are you doing here?"He asked sounding as though his voice were about to crack and he was going to cry at any moment. His amber eyes were glossy and a bit puffy but it was clear he had not yet cried.

"That doesn't matter, but are you okay? Why are you here?" She asked kneeling to her friend's side and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"No ,I'm not okay. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I just I don't know." he puffed out all in one unsteady sigh.

"Did Hermione do it then?" She asked already knowing the answer.

"Yeah." he said as though someone were stabbing him through his chest.

"What did she say?"She asked trying to think of a way to comfort him.

"She said nothing she gave me this note after the quidditch match today." he handed her the letter

_'Dear Remus,_

_I love you and I always will forever you will be in my heart. Your my first love my first kiss my first. You are the kindest person I will ever meet and you deserve such a better girl than me. You deserve someone who will love you like you love me, but truthfully i love you as a brother and i tried for two years i tried to make my feelings more but it isn't working I can't pretend because the more i pretend the more my heart breaks. _

_I can't tell you how sorry I am all I want is to feel in love with you as you are to me. I tried to do it in person, but I can't face you. Yes it is a real prat of me to do it like this, but I can't think of how else to do it. I can't be with you any longer I'm really sorry Remus, but I'm not worth it so please do not hate me, but I understand if you want to. _

_I understand if you hate me I respect it, but I will always love you as my brother and You will always be my first of all to come I will never and can never forget the amazing person you are._

_But I learned recently that In war children either grow up too fast and become adults or they cling to the happiness and purity of adolescents and stay childish and pull pranks, but what i never thought was that maybe the ones who grew up don't need people like themselves they need someone who is childish someone to bring out their inner child and the childish people need someone who grew up to help them, grow up a bit. They need each other to balance them out._

_,Lots of Love Hermione'_

_"_Oh Remus!" Lily exclaimed as she wrapped him in a tight hug.

"The thing is I knew it was coming I could tell. She was acting so strange the past few days I could feel it I knew she was going to, but part of me was praying and hoping I was wrong, but that's the thing I am never wrong and I know why she did it... She liked Sirius doesn't she? When he's around it's like they are in their own little world you can just tell by the way she looks at him and I know because it's the same way she used to look at me." He said blankly with no emotion at all as his amber eyes met her soft kind emerald eyes he knew he was right.

He continued once more when she didn't confirm with her words,"It just hurts. A lot. I loved her so much and I believed everything she ever told me about me being the one about how much she loved me. I was stupid i shouldn't have believed a word she said. I should have been smarter and known better, but I fell for her. Now I'm hurt again. I care too much and it's pathetic I have to learn to be mean. To be cruel and heartless to not where my emotions on my sleeve. I am too nice. Too kind."

"No Remus. Don't change your bloody brilliant the way you are and are going to make some girl very happy one day."

"But that's the thing I don't want some girl I want her. She's perfect. She is everything I ever wanted in a girl I just. I don't know what i did to make her fall out of love with me. I don't know how or what I could have done. I want to hate her I really do, but all I can do is think of how bloody perfect she is n how I just cant do it I can't hate her for loving Sirius. Sirius is so much better than Me he is everything I'm not and It shouldn't bother me that she loves him ,but it does so much. All I can do is sit here feeling numb I can't even cry. I never felt this much pain before and it hurts so badly, but my body feels numb like I can't feel anything, Like I can't cry."

Lily stared at him not knowing what to say and she hugged him tighter locking with his amber eyes and urged him to keep venting out his feelings.

"I loved her. I still do and she will never feel anything like that towards me she isn't even upset we broke up. I have always lost my girls to Sirius always and now I know it's true he's my best mate, but he is so much better than I am he is perfect and I'm just me. I'm ugly I'm boring I'm nothing. I'm pathetic as well I am madly in love with a bird who loves my best mate and I am still not over her even though it ended days ago and I was just too scared to say a word to anyone! I am pathetic!"

"Now Remus. J. Lupin I never want to hear you talk ill of yourself again. You are a handsome ,kind, caring man! And if that makes you pathetic then I'm pathetic as well probably more so then you! I am madly in love with a bloke who's been chasing me since first year and am too stubborn to say yes to him now he has a girl and he still looks and stares at me like he used to, but the flirting stopped and I just. I am in love with him and I messed up too Remus I should have told him and now he's finally given up on me!"

"Lily, Just tell James he would go after you in a heartbeat." He said rolling his eyes at her story.

"He has Annabel! Why would he want me? And that's beside the point we are talking about you being an extraordinary wizard not my problems."

"I'm not though I will never be the best I will never be good enough for her ever and every time I even hear her name or see her it hurts n breaks me a little more because all the memories come flooding back to me. The way she held my hand the way she kissed me the way she smiled her eyes, oh her brilliant eyes when they lit up as I entered a room. Everything I love about her overloads my mind and I remember she isn't mine anymore and she never will be it will all be just a memory."

He closed his eyes for a moment and bit his lip hard as if trying not to scream without opening his eyes he said with a struggle,"I never want to feel this pain and agony again. I love her so much and I can't stop myself from loving her even more whenever i remember all the memories we have I just. I want her back I miss her and She will never be mine I will never hold her hand or kiss her again. If I knew the last time I kissed her would be the last time I would have put so much more feeling in it and been so much more grateful for it now all I have are memories and even though she won't ever feel the same and I know she won't she is still all I ever think about... And that's why I can't stop loving her."

"It will get better you just have to move on."

"I can't."

"Yes you can." She said looking into his eyes trying to force the thought into his brain.

" You wouldn't understand what this feels like. You never had your heart-broken like this. It's worse than any sort of pain You could ever imagine. Everytime I even blink her smile and sparkling eyes pop into my mind n i have to force myself to remember she isn't mine and never will be again... I have to remember she wants Sirius. She loves him and not me."

"Her and Sirius aren't together."

"But they will be I can feel it and when I get a feeling it's never wrong."

"I hope it is."

"OH my dear but it's not ,but I'm sure as hell hoping it is wrong believe me I am already jealous beyond belief of the bloke." He sighed and rested his head on her shoulder contentedly. Lily did the same to him and hugged him again not knowing how else to comfort the werewolf before her.

_**So I know It's been a while but I'm sorry I just suffered and AWEFUL break-up and that's why i had to write this because my boyfriend of 6 months dumps me for my bff and she has done this to me once before she dated my ex and I feel exactly how Remus does I'm not good enough,I am not as good as her she's prettier funnier weirder everything i am but 10x better... **_

_**I really really loved my boyfriend and now he's 'in love' with her and I can't do anything about I am really super depressed right now n need to talk to someone so PM me if you want...Or just review...**_

_**PLEASE REVIEW it takes 2 seconds I don't care if its good or bad... that's a lie if it's a mean review i might just cry , but thats beside the point... I love you alll SO****** MUCH***********_


	10. 10 It's you

**_There's this place in me where your finger tips still rest... your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo... It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me._**

* * *

**_ I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?_**

* * *

**_The pain of having a broken heart is not so much as to kill you, yet not so little as to let you live_**

* * *

_**Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.**_

* * *

**_I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you're doing, but I can't help it, cause I'm in love with you_**

* * *

**_Okay so now that I got you in the mood for yet another sad depressing chapter with some anonymous quotes from google here is the chapter. Sorry if it's too sad for you. I promise the end of this chapter is happier than the beginning of it!_**

* * *

Remus was walking into the great hall the next day and he saw her smiling and laughing without a care. Just like the past two years meant nothing to her. Acting like she had never broken his heart. Acting like she was happy. Happier then she ever was with him. Like she never said all things she did. She made him feel so stupid because he believed her. He believed she loved him and that was stupid because he knew he never had a chance at her even liking him so why could someone as perfect as her love someone like him?

He went to his normal seat which was across from Sirius and next to peter who was across from James. Hermione was now sitting next to James and Lily across from her and next to peter's other side.

Remus tried not to look at her at all or even talk he stared at his food and tried with all his power not to look as though his soul was just torn out. That everything he was feeling on the inside was nothing just like she felt.

He was doing fine until she looked up and smiled at him then followed with a,"Hello Remus, how've you been?"

How have I been? awful. Terrible. miserable. Hurt. Her smile. Her perfect smile will never be because of him. Her kisses, her hugs. They will never be his. She will never be his. But the words that came out sounded as though someone else were speaking,"Fine, and you?"

"Lovely, I'm so glad we can ber friends I've missed seeing you around."

"Yeah, I've missed you too..." He said honestly just not in the same way she meant.

"Great we can all hang out today! Lily, You, Peter, James, Sirius, and I! Just like we used to only maybe we can try not to get James murdered by Lily this time." She said her cheerful tone and rosy cheeks.

"I would, but I can't I have... plans with McGonagall. Extracredit work."

"Mooney you don't need any extra credit work your already of N.E.W.T. level in every subject!" Sirius boomed oblivious to his attempts at escaping yet another long excruciating moment with the perfect witch in front of him.

"Padfoot, I'm surprised you can show up, with your schedule and what not."

"schedule?"

"Yeah, which bird is tonight?"

"I gave up on girls you know that Mooney, I'm a changed man and I have been for a good year or two."

"Like someone like you could ever change!"

"Watch your mouth Mooney! You know..."

"Yeah I know, I've always known. You always win Sirius and that's what this all was to you wasn't it? A game? A challenge? Something to make you feel like you're the king again... Face it, Malfoy was right and always will be, you'll never have her, even if I'm out-of-the-way, she'd never be yours." Remus screamed before marching off out of the great hall not caring who saw his fit of rage.

"What's gotten into him, what was he going on about?" Hermione asked confused.

"I-I don't really know." Sirius said still trying to connect what just happened.

"Oh don't act so slow Black. You know exactly what had happened and you know what Mooney meant by I was right." Malfoy chuckles as he put a hand on Sirius' shoulder.

It made sense now Remus thought he was after Hermione now. He thought he was going to go after her... He still loved her yes, but he knew what she wanted, he knew wha kind of guy she deserved and it was not him. He was fine with protecting her from everything and everyone who tried to harm her.

"Care to explain Malfoy?" Hermione asked.

" Sure my dear, Now do you remember back when you dated me for those few months how one day Sirius... was fighting me and you saw him hit me and yelled at him to leave? That day Sirius saw me with his cousin in the hallways."

"And..?"

"I thought you were smart? He saw me cheating on you and beat my arse. Not because of his cousin because of you. Thats when I figured out he was in love with you. Then do you remember why you fell in love with the wolf? I do it was because he showed you me cheating then beat me up, well princess that was all Sirius' plan. He made The wolf take you to me he found me first and knew you would only follow Remus, and then I disarmed and stupefied Remus here Sirius came saved his arse and kicked mine then made me lie about it all... He has protected you ever since... He has sent you cards and presents... The mut loves you and he knows he can't have you, but the wolfboy hates him now because he thinks he stole you from him... Make sense now?"

"Wha-what? that all can't be true! Your lying!" She shouted.

"Hermione he's not...He's telling the truth." Lily told her quietly."

"You knew? All of you knew my friends knew... And didn't tell me? you let me live a relationship based on lies?"

"Hermione.." Lily said softly reaching to hug her but Hermione shrugged her off.

"NO don't Hermione me... You all lied to me! For 2YEARS! I need to be alone!" SHe said as she picked up her bag and ran to a secret tunnel that leads to the kitchen. She sat behind it and brought her knees to her chest and closed her eyes.

She was only alone for a second before someone opened the painting and sat next to her.

The person sighed loudly then spoke softly, but his voice was shaking and nervous, "Hermione, I'm sorry, please don't take it all out on Lily and Remus and the rest of them, it's all my fault I screwed up again..."

She looked up to see his kind caring grey eyes staring at the floor his hands were in his pockets and his legs spread out..

"Why?" was all she could say.

"Why what?"

"Why'd you do it... all of it?"

"I don't know... I ask myself that everyday. I think I might be in love with you."

"Please... If you were in love with me you would have tormented me the first three years I came here..."

"That's where your wrong.. I always sorta liked you Hermione just back then i never realized it, but the moment you walked on the train in 4th year there was something about your eyes that just seemed to sparkle... I became so infatuated with you even hearing you scream at me was attractive. I still am today just as in love with you as I've always been."

"Sirius why'd you lie about beating up Lucius all this time? Why set up Remus and I?"

"Simple I don't deserve you... Your so perfect, beautiful, and pure. Your good and brilliant and everything I'm me a womanizing sleezeball that just annoys you... You need someone mature and sensitive, a bookworm like yourself. Not a childish prankster boy like me... I could never make you happy and that what you deserve happiness... So I was going to protect you help you and still love you, just in secret."

"You were the musketeer weren't you, the one who still writes me?"

"Yes I am and was... that's where I messed up, I was selfish that day and wanted to know what it would be like to have you want to be with me.. To have you want me for just a moment..."

"It's you."

"What's me?"

"Your my Romeo. You're the one I'm in love with. It's you and it's always been you."

"your saying that because you think you do, It's not real love..."

"I couldn't love Remus something was missing.. The spark wasn't there, but I think it's because I already had a spark lit with you... Ever since I first saw you I loved you, I gave up trying to get your attention though after 3rd year, but its you. It's always been you Sirius."

"I can't give you what you want or make you happy."

"I can't be happy with out you Sirius. Simple as that."

"You deserve..."

" SIRIUS I LOVE YOU GOD DAMNIT! I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU AND YOUR EITHER GOING TO KISS ME NOW OR MAKE ME LEAVE!"

"Hermione! Stop yelling and listen to me! I am bad for you. I'd break your heart or something I can't do that to you. You deserve so much more than me. I have nothing I'm disowned I barely pass classes I hate reading... I can't I'm not good for you I'm trouble and you know it!"

"Sirius If you want me to be happy and you want me to have everything I want and deserve than listen to me.. I can't be happy without you. All I want is to be loved.. to have someone who will hold my hand in the hallways. Someone to argue with and joke with someone who will make me laugh and make me put a book down... Someone who will play pranks on me and make me happy everyday I'm with them. Someone who can show me there is more to life than a boring old book! Someone who's not afraid to give me a piggyback ride or carry me around. Someone who will kiss me in the rain and have snowball fights with me even when We're old and have grandkids! Thats all I want Sirius and I only want to experience it with you!"

"Hermione, I can't I'm not good enough for you, I know it hurts now, but trust me in the long run your going to thank me for not giving in... You deserve so much more, why can't you see it? you deserve the best. That's not me I am bad, I'd end up breaking your heart. I can't do that to you, I just can't because I can't have you fall in love with me... You think you have because its what your brain is telling you, but if you really really think about what's in your heart You'll see you don't love me... I'm sorry, but I just can't hurt you hermione you mean too much to me." He said then left without waiting for her reply or even looking at her. He left.

* * *

_**This was a very emotional chapter UGHHHH it has been 18 days since my break up and I'm still in love with him and can't get over him WHATS WRONG WITH ME?! **_

_**I just miss him so much and I can't get over him I NEED HELP! I can't write or sleep or do my schoolwork! He's all I'm thinking about and its killing me! oh well I'll have to deal somehow i guess REVIEW PLEASEE! I love you guys, at least you all will never leave me (haha that sounds sooo pathetic)**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**This is based on a mature aspect that I thought the story needed... I don't know I like to put my own expieriences Ito things and this just happened to spring out to me... Well I am just going to you read now! **_

Sirius stormed into his dorm and sat on his bed as he groaned loudly.

He looked across the room into the mirror on the back of the door.

"Sirius you're an idiot." he told his reflection

"you had her. She wanted you. You had your chance that you've only dreamt of. You got the opportunity to prove Lucius and Remus wrong, but you didn't take it why? Why be so stupid!"

He groaned again and laid down.

"I will tell you why cuz she isn't a toy to use to prove people right she's more. She deserves better than whatever I am. Someone who will treat her the best she can be treated buy her pretty things for no reason. Love her. Be there for her not you. Your worthless. You know she was in such a shock from finding out you love her that she jumped to thinking she loved you. It wasn't real."

He tried convincing himself.

"Sirius." said a nervous voice from the bed above him.

"Remus?"

"yes... Question."

Sirius stretched on his bed and sighed,"ask away."

"you really love her?"

"Yeah, I guess I do."

"you have for over 2 years now?"

"Well umm yeah, but..."

"You were protecting her from Malfoy and slytherins, you sent her letters and gifts?"

"you knew about the letters?"

"No, I suspected. I was with her and lily and she dropped one once I only got a quick glance before she picked it up... Why?"

"why what?"

"Why her? What's the difference between her and all your other birds?"

"She's not just another bird... She has this type of glimmer in her eyes when she laughed at a prank or a joke. It was just so beautiful an it made everything else about her more wondrous."

"Why set her up with me then?"

"I wanted her to be happy... I didn't care who... I just I loved her so much I wanted her to have someone she wanted ,someone good like her. And I knew how you felt about her."

"I never saw it."

"what?"

"the sparkle in her eyes, I never noticed it. Beauty yes, but spark, not so much."

"Don't get all sentimental on me now mooney."

"Pads, I'm afraid you've already gone sentimental. She's got you hooked."

"I know."

"so why don't you go after her?"

"You'd hate me... I would only end up hurting her. Need anymore reasons? I've had 2 years to come up with them."

"Do you know why you still love her and you never gave up? It's because no matter how many reasons you have to stop loving her. You have one to keep on... Somewhere in your mind you have hope she might love you back. Even if you won't admit it to yourself."

"Remus, She deserves better."

"define better."

"good. Someone who won't hurt her. Who will make her happy."

"if you had her would u hurt her?"

"I can't see myself doing it, but I also never saw myself falling in love with any bird let alone Hermione."

"I think that you're not scared you will hurt her. Your scared she will hurt you. Your saying you're not good enough and all that, but really you know she should be with you. You know deep down you would treat her better than any other guy. You just think she will find someone better than leave you. That's what I think Sirius."

"What do you know? YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I THINK OR HOW I FEEL..."

"That's it yell at me and storm out! Hit me if you get that mad but I know it's because your upset that I'm right and won't admit it! The more enraged you become the more I believe my own words to be true Sirius so go ahead yell ,scream ,throw your tantrum it won't change the situation!"

Sirius was now silent he had nothing to say to him he sat back down on his bed and rolled facing the wall.

"You say you want her to be happy. You say you want her to have the best. You say you love her. If that were true you would open your eyes and realize she won't be happy without you. That to her you are the best you always were. You would see she loves you just as much and has for longer than you."

Remus waited for his reply but once convinced Sirius would not reply he walked to the door and opened it just as he was about to walk out Sirius spoke his voice low almost a whisper the words he said made Remus think he never even said a thing at all.

"Your right." was his only reply as he lay in the bed stiff as a board.

Hermione sat in the tunnel frozen from shock. He loved her? But he rejected her.

He says she doesn't deserve him? But doesn't he know he was all she ever wanted now he wants her and he won't for her own good? Doesn't he know how she feels?

With her thoughts swirling she walked slowly to her common room. She was almost there when a tall figure stood before her towering over her.

"I'm not in the mood Lucius!" she snapped at him.

"oh where's your little peasants ,princess?"

Deep down she knew he was only teasing her and testing her patience but the words still stung and she couldn't help but sniffle abit before retorting ,"knock it off Lucius!"

"oh the marauders are gone with that mudblood? What about your knight in shining armor? Where is black I thought he'd jump at the chance to 'protect' you from any evil slytherin." Lucius kept taunting even when he had a full inclination of thesituation

"Lucius... Not now." she said pushing the tears back

"oh what's wrong princess some guy not jump when you told him to? Or let me guess he didn't jump high enough." This time he waBrit teasig her he was being quite real.

How could he say that? She was not some horrible dictator. Is he still mad for the break up from two years ago? Why is he tryingTao hard to hurt her? What has she ever seen in him?

"I'm not horrible Lucius I'm hurt enough as it is. You used to love me too you know! Can you just leave me alone please?"

"let me guess you went after the little traitor and he rejected you? How's it feel to not be good enough?"

"shut up! He told me I was too good for him."

"ah you see that means your worthy but your too much a prude for him. We both know how he is. He is trying to let you know nicely he doesn't want girls like you."

"You know Lucius you're a real git!" she yell as the tears fell uncontrollably down her rosy cheeks.

She turned to leave when he grabbed her arm tightly.

"let me go Lucius."

He refused to and pulled her into him.

"Lucius... . Go. Now." She said reaching for her wand in her back pocket with her free hand.

"looking for this?" he asked holding her wand. Then chuckling twistedly

Hermione locked his glare with one of her own. Her eyes held determination and ruthlessness. No fear which disappointed Lucius to some degree.

"I don't like being rejected mudblood. Even if it has been two years since. I have not forgotten." he said and covered her mouth with his one hand and pushed her behind a statue then put a silencing charm and uncovered her mouth.

"go ahead now you can scream for help. Scream for Sirius to come and save you. Do it! They can't hear you. No one can. You cannot be saved now.

"why? Lucius you used to love me remember ? What happened to that Lucius."

Lucius eyes were now cold and hard as he locked hers. She could see the pain and torture that was burned into his eyes that were once so full of life.

"all the things they say about him is true, but when you expierience it first hand it's just... Aweful."

"You don't have to be like him. If you do this then your as bad as he is. Your not evil Lucius you are no monster."

"that's the thing though... Your right I am no monster... Not yet. I am not yet evil... I am not him, but I could be. And doing this will give me the first step to it. And in a few years I could be better than him. And I could be the most powerful wizard. People would fear me they would obey me."

"Lucius nothing is forever. Nothing. Darkness only lasts until the sun comes out. No matter how long that will be. People will always rebel. No matter if it's good or bad. If darkness rules the good will rebel until they over power it no matter how long it takes. When it is light, the bad will always rebel until they over power it no matter how long it will take."

"that's where your wrong, princess. I will change it. I can change it."

She saw in his eyes there was no saving him now she was too late to. He was morphed into a deatheater and that meant there was no talking him out of this. She was going to be raped and she had no way out of it.

"yes now your scared aren't you mudblood go ahead beg me not to."

"no. I'm not scared. Not of you Lucius."

"so stubborn ,you are."

She just stood there staring into him hoping he wouldn't go through with his plan or that she would think of a way out Of it.

He smirked maliciously and advanced on her slowly grabbing her by her waist and pressing a forced kiss to her lips. She stood still pressing her own lips together as hard as she could and not returning his kiss.

"I thought you would be smarter than this. You are going to do this and cooperate. If you don't then I will have to give you this." he pulled out a small vile from his robes she did not recognize.

"it was a gift from him. A type of welcoming present. It will make you cooperate with me within seconds after drinking it... Almost like imperious curse..."

She took a deep breath and shut her eyes tight begging for some type of plan.

Lily ran to sirius' dorm and as soon as she opened the door she yelled," Sirius Orion Black! If you don't tell me where hermione is I will curse you into next year!"

"Lily? What do you mean? I haven't seen her since I went to talk to her after dinner an hour or so ago.

"well where is she. She's not with any teacher ,the library lake, common room ,the room no where!"

"hold on." he said and walked over to the map.

But when he looked at it his face instantly paled and before he could mutter any words he dropped the map and started to run. Pushing lily out of the way as he did so.

Lily picked the map up n saw just what got Him so worked up hermione was in a secret passage with Lucius Malfoy.

"HERMIONE!" Sirius screamed as he ran behind the statue.

"Right on schedule Mr. Black. Now you can collect Her and drag her back to gryffindor tower for me."

He looked to see hermione her hair was wild and messed she was biting her lip her eyes were wide and she looked like she was fighting back the verge of tears.

"What did you do to her Malfoy?"

He flashed him a mocking grin and said," I did the very thing that I knew would hurt you most."

"why me?"

"the dark lord doesn't like to be rejected and neither do i. He told me do whatever I feel necessary to make you feel as much pain as possible."

" . . ." he said through clenched teeth.

"took the thing that made you love her and protect her."

"not even you are that sleazy to go so far as to rape a girl."

"You sure about that?" He asked before handing him her wand then running out in his pompous way.

"Hermione... He didn't...Did he?" Sirius asked in a soft tone as he knelt next to a fear stricken hermione and handed her ,her wand. But she didn't take it.

She didn't move at all just kept staring at the wall with that face of pure horror.

"Hermione talk to me. Please , hermione."

"I-I can't. If I do I might start to..."

" you can cry I won't tell anyone I promise."

"he-he wasnt Ly-lying."

"you mean he? HE RAPED YOU?!"

She nodded once and started to sob. Sirius sprang up but she put her hand on his leg, "No please don't leave me Sirius."

He looked down at her and forgot any types of feelings of rage or hatred. He forgot about everyone that was not Hermione. Because she said the words he had been waiting to hear from someone he knew that it was his fault for leaving all his ex's but not one person ever asked him to stay and even though she meant it in a different sense he could not refuse anything she asked at the moment

"Never again." he said to her as he wrapped her into a tight embrace and softly stroked her hair as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"this is all my fault hermione I'm so sorry."

"how is it your fault?"

"I'm supposed to protect you and I was stupid and chose to sulk and get advice from mooney who only yelled at me because, nevermind the point is I was supposed to be there to protect you it was the only thing I could do.

"you see that's where youre wrong. You could have done so much more. You could have made me happy-real happiness- you have the chance to love me and you don't. I don't understand you Sirius I really don't... Maybe... Maybe Lucius was right." she said as she stood up and went to walk away but he grabbed her arm. And she jumped and let out a tiny scream as the flashback of Lucius came into her mind. Sirius loosened his grip and studied her with a worried expression.

"I'm trying to do whats best for you."heh choked out his voice almost cracking at the thought of him breaking her heart now something he was trying to avoid.

"how are you supposed to know what's good for me when you don't even see whats good for yourself ,Sirius."

"I'm walking you back."He told her firmly

"I don't need you." she said sternly secretly dying for him to take some sortunregistered courage and tell her she was his for now and forever.

"your not going alone. I promised you I wouldnt leave you and I never will."

"You already have Sirius. I will be fine I doubt he will try anything else if I see him I will just scream. And stay out of the secret passageways." she wanted him fight for her more. She wanted him to realise what she already knew, but he was too thick headed to see any of it.

And she walked out leaving him confused as ever.

_**Okay now I'm sooooo sorry next chapter will haveloads of happiness! Writers honor!Is that even a thing? Well it is now REVIEW! I luvs you all!**_


End file.
